Happiful October 2020

We feel our body has let
us down with infertility.
This feeling is further
heightened during an IVF
cycle when we have so
much hope, mixed with fear
I hid the hospital trips, the
injections, and the side-effects,
from everyone but my husband
and parents; creating anxiety
over turning down work without
explanation, or cancelling plans
because my egg collection was
suddenly moved forward.
But telling terrified me – with the
pressure of ‘any news?’ messages,
and the pain of telling someone it
hasn’t worked when you’ve barely
processed it yourself.
It’s difficult to know exactly how
you’ll cope when you see a stark
white pregnancy test. Telling the
few I had confided in was awful.
And yet, equally, having to go on as
normal with those I hadn’t, was just
as painful.
Is there a right choice? Mandy
Worsley, a freedom fertility specialist
who herself has been through six
IVF cycles, says: “One of the burdens
we carry around is the fact that we
are having fertility issues, as it can be
a very private journey.
“But research shows that not feeling
able to share with our close family
and friends, can add to our stress
levels. I encourage those undergoing
IVF to choose a support network
who will help them at this very
emotional time,” explains Mandy.
The blame game
Much of my anxiety has always
stemmed around control, so when
IVF failed, my question was: what
did I do wrong? It’s hard to accept
that IVF is very much a numbers
game, so my brain would attempt
to answer an unsolvable question.
Was it that glass of wine I drank,
or did I overdo it the day after
transfer?
It’s something Mandy Worsley
knows well. “As women, we feel >>>
October 2020 • happiful.com • 23