Focus on the Family Magazine - October/November 2021

FAITH & INSPIRATION / REFLECTION
Kids & Teens
sleepless
jealousy
Letting go of my grudge
helped me appreciate
my husband and focus
on God’s character
BY KRYSTLE PORTER
AS A MOM OF FIVE, I feel
as though I haven’t had a decent
night’s sleep in more than 11 years.
My husband is wonderful—and a
great dad—but he’s a deep sleeper.
Combine sleepless kids with his deep
dozes, and it’s a recipe for marital
disaster.
In those early years, I’d try to wake
him, but most often I was left to care
for a crying baby alone. When morning
finally dawned, I’d be physically
drained and jealous of my husband’s
glorious full night of sleep.
Hurt feelings
As our family continued to grow, I
developed an unhealthy way of voicing
my frustrations. I’d sarcastically say,
“How nice it must be to get a full night’s
rest,” or “You better not yawn today.”
I’m not sure my husband knew how to
respond. And my behavior did nothing
to solve my predicament.
I knew I needed to release the hurt
and bitterness I was harboring, but
I didn’t know how. As I began to seek
God more and reflect on the qualities
of humility, gentleness and patience
from Ephesians 4:2, He gently showed
me what I needed to focus on.
The Lord also showed me that my
husband had limitations—and that
was OK. I had my own set of limitations.
They just looked different
from his. I started seeing with fresh
eyes that my husband offered me his
best in other areas—things I equally
needed and appreciated.
A much-needed rest
My gratefulness for my husband and
my new gentler manner didn’t solve
the other half of the problem, however.
I needed sleep. After talking it
over, we agreed that I could nap in the
morning after he was up and I had
nursed the baby. This small change
allowed me to get an extra 20 minutes
of sleep—and wow, that helped!
Fast-forward 10 years. I no longer
expect my husband to respond to
my needs if I don’t voice them. I’ve
learned that if I set aside my emotions
when I talk with my husband,
he is better able to hear and address
the problem. When I stopped dropping
hints and started discussing my
needs and grievances openly, our
communication quickly improved. •
Krystle Porter is a co-author and contributor at
Help Club for Moms, a ministry for moms with
kids of all ages.
LISTEN NOW!
Tune in as Mari Jo Mast, Deb
Weakly and Krystle Porter
discuss the unique challenges of
motherhood, offering insights on
marriage and dependence on God.
<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/Radio
279PHOTO CREDIT TK / STOCK.ADOBE.COM
CREDIT PHOTO BY TK ERIN DRAGO
sibling
appreciation
A parenting activity
from Linsey Driskill
I WANTED MY TRIPLETS
to spend more time appreciating one
another, so I cut out a bunch of small
tickets from yellow construction
paper and introduced my children to
Sibling Appreciation Week.
First we talked about the Golden
Rule (Matthew 7:12) and how Jesus
asks us to treat others as we want
to be treated. I then told each child
to look for ways their siblings were
nice to them or others and to write
what they saw on a golden ticket,
beginning with: “Thank you for ______.”
Using painter’s tape, they stuck the
golden tickets in their siblings’ bedrooms
(but not in hidden places like
inside drawers). Each day after everyone
had done this, I told my children,
“Go find your golden tickets!”
My triplets had so much fun
searching for and reading their tickets
that they kept them and then taped
them up again to reread. They also
surprised my husband and me with
golden tickets, and we wrote some for
them as well.
After our Sibling Appreciation
Week, I let my kids know they could
still surprise their siblings with tickets
whenever they noticed one of
them following the Golden Rule. My
daughter said to me, “Instead of
repaying wrong for wrong, it’s like
christian, Gracie, bates, brooklyn and Linsey
we’re repaying right for right.” •
Linsey Driskill is a speaker and author who
is passionate about encouraging families in
following Jesus. Her devotional, Beautiful
Hearted Women of the Bible: A creative
mother-daughter devotional, fosters connection
with one another and Jesus through stories,
questions, prayers and activities.
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FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
OctOber / NOvember 2021
OctOber / NOvember 2021 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 29