Focus on the Family Magazine - February/March 2022

Couples
no s’more
competition
A marriage insight from Julia Springman
Perry and Julia
PHOTO BY HOLLY FULLERTON
AS NEWLYWEDS, my husband, Perry, and I received
advice that has proved golden: “Don’t count!” I’m a counter
by nature—I did dishes five times this week, and he did it
only two times. I tidied up errant socks three times and made
the bed. The numbers used to swirl in my head, sit heavy in
my stomach and upset my heart.
In time I realized I was looking for ways to count myself
better than my husband. But my counting proved petty when
I considered how many ways I count on my husband.
Together we trained ourselves to stop counting up chores
and favors and start counting on each other. He counts on
me to know the exact location of every obscure item in the
refrigerator. I count on him to wash out the compost bin.
He counts on me to make his favorite dessert; I count on
him to always offer me the biggest piece. He counts on me to
remember dates, milestones and traditions; I count on him
to help guide our kids into the Father’s arms.
We count on each other to be true and to look to the Word
before the world. When we said our vows, we counted on
marriage having hard days. But learning to count on each
other, instead of counting ourselves better than each other,
has been the greatest blessing. •
Julia Springman and her husband, Perry, have been married for 23 years
and have four children. They spent their first years together doing youth
and outreach ministry in Europe, Australia and North America. Now they
tour as a family band with their kids, ages 10 to 17.
FEBRUARY / MARCH 2022 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 13