Focus on the Family Magazine - February/March 2022

LOVE / FAITH & INSPIRATION
AN UPCOMING BROADCAST
Tune in this Valentine’s Day to the
<strong>Focus</strong> on the Family broadcast as
guest Bob Lepine shares in this
upcoming program about how to
show love to your spouse.
<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/Radio
or fearful or feel threatened in some
way. We lash out at our spouses in
an attempt to get them to back down.
Anger can be the tool people use when
they feel insecure and vulnerable.
But as James points out, “The
anger of man does not produce the
righteousness of God” (1:20). There
is rarely a righteous root feeding our
anger. More often, it’s because we
didn’t get our way.
The writer of Ecclesiastes warns us,
“Do not be eager in your spirit to be
angry, for anger resides in the heart of
fools” (7:9, NASB).
Control your anger
People have developed techniques to
help us better manage or control our
anger. We can take deep breaths or
count to 10 or walk away from a conflict.
There’s nothing wrong with those
practices. But ultimately, what we
need to do is dial down the anger.
The Bible tells us to put away “anger,
wrath, malice, slander, and obscene
talk” (Colossians 3:8). We can—and
should—prayerfully work to control
how we respond to the flashes of
anger we experience in life. But the
solution goes beyond simply trying to
curb our anger. We have to replace it
with godly virtues, such as compassion,
kindness, humility, meekness
and patience (verse 12). By learning
to demonstrate these qualities, we are
learning to replace anger with love.
Pursue patience
The path to patience is a long one. It
takes time, intentionality and effort to
grow in this Spirit-empowered virtue.
The three steps outlined in James 1:19-
20 are not the complete answer to how
we grow in patience, but they provide
us with a great starting point.
Begin with a commitment to becoming
a better, more focused listener.
Practice waiting to speak until you’ve
fully heard what your spouse has to
say and are able to demonstrate that
you’ve heard him or her. And decide
today that in addition to curbing your
anger, you’ll proactively look for ways
to show kindness to your spouse. •
Bob Lepine is the co-host of “Truth for Life”
with Alistair Begg and former co-host of the
“FamilyLife Today” radio program. He is the
author of Love Like You Mean It: The heart of a
marriage that honors God.
FEBRUARY / MARCH 2022 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 33