Issue No. 15

“Attention!” I shout. I’m standing just
outside the group, waving my iPhone. On
the screen is the Pétanque-ometer, a clever
little app that David Stuart told me about.
You hold your phone over the cochonnet,
and the app draws concentric rings to
show precisely which ball is closest. I push
my way into the middle of the group.
“Regardez,” I say, lining up the phone with
the boules. The whole group leans in. They
look at the phone. They look at me.
Then Robert starts clucking. Low at first,
then louder. Soon everyone is imitating a
chicken. “Look at the screen,” I say, “It’s
Jeannine. Jeannine is closest!” The
clucking gives way to out-and-out
heckling.
“Merci, monsieur iPhone,” says Robert. He
turns to the crowd: “Mesdames et
messieurs, c’est Steve Jobs!”
Aimée runs over to a lavender bush and
breaks off a length of stem. She runs back
and stretches it from the cochonnet to one
boule, and then to the other. She looks up
at Jean-Pierre.
“C’est Marco!” he cries. The players nod
their heads in agreement. Jean-Pierre looks
at me pityingly, and says I can throw out
the marker to start the next round.
“Allez, monsieur iPhone,” he says, handing
me the cochonnet.
Eileen and Sara beam from the sidelines.
We were in.
Marty Neumeier is the author of Beginning
French by Les Americains. Find out more at
his website: Beginning French