Focus on the Family Magazine - October/November 2022

LISTEN NOW!
Mark and Jill Savage share their
personal story of rebuilding trust
in their marriage.
<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/Radio
©JOE ST.PIERRE PHOTOGRAPHY
/ STOCKSY UNITED; (PATTERN)
ALEXANDERZAM / STOCK.ADOBE.COM
Dream together
When our marriages are in crisis, we
tend to focus on the here and now. It’s
hard to think about the future when
we’re hurting. But as the wounds begin
to heal, looking forward as a couple
is an important way to restore joy in
our relationships. Mark and I bonded
as we began to share our hopes and
dreams again. We started asking each
other questions like:
• What’s one thing on your bucket list?
• Where would you love to go on vacation
sometime?
• What do you think God’s vision is for
us as a couple?
• What’s one thing you’re looking forward
to over the next year?
• If we went on a day-trip, where would
we go and what would we do?
• What dream do we need to pursue
again that we gave up perhaps
prematurely?
Questions like these gave us a vision
for the future and helped us tune in to
each other’s desires.
Explore
If you and your spouse have trouble
finding common ground in your pursuit
of fun, you’re not alone. This often
happens with couples whose lives and
interests have changed over the years.
But don’t believe for one minute that
this makes you incompatible. (After all,
every married couple is wonderfully
incompatible!) Instead, see those differences
as permission to explore new
activities together. You might be pleasantly
surprised.
Mark and I had to resist clinging to
our likes and dislikes and instead be
willing to give new things a try. When
I suggested taking dance lessons, my
husband balked at first, but he found
that he actually enjoyed learning how
to swing dance. Initially I didn’t like
the idea of riding with him on his
motorcycle, but after I got past my
fear, I grew to love those times together.
Sure, we tried some activities that one
or both of us didn’t enjoy, but we just
crossed them off our list. More often
than not, we were surprised that we
actually enjoyed more activities than
we thought we would.
Ultimately, it’s all about attitude.
When it comes to having fun together,
an “I’m willing to give it a try” mentality
goes a long way! •
Jill Savage is a wife, mom and marriage coach.
She and her husband, Mark, are the authors
of No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the
freedom of being real together.
OCTOBER / NOVEMBER 2022 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 17