Under_The_Whispering_Door_by_TJ_Klune

remembered he couldn’t. He pulled his arm away quickly. Hugo, for his part,
didn’t react. Wallace was thankful for that, even as he remembered the way
it’d felt to have Mei hugging him as hard as she could. He didn’t know when
he’d become so desperate for contact.
He struggled with something to say, something to distract them both. “I
made mistakes too. Before.” He paused. “No, that’s not quite right. I still
make mistakes.”
“Why?” Hugo asked.
Why, indeed. “To err is human, I guess. I wasn’t like you, though. I didn’t
let it affect me. I should have, but I just … I don’t know. I always blamed
others and told myself to learn from their mistakes, and not necessarily my
own.”
“What do you think that means?”
It was a hard truth to face, and one he still wasn’t sure he was ready for.
“I don’t know if I was a good person.” He let the words float between them
for a moment, bitter though they were.
“What makes a good person?” Hugo asked. “Actions? Motivations?
Selflessness?”
“Maybe all of it,” Wallace said. “Or maybe none of it. You said you don’t
know what’s on the other side of that door, even though you see the looks on
their faces when they cross. How do you know there’s no Heaven or Hell?
What if I walk through that door, and I’m judged for every wrong I’ve done
and it outweighs all the rest? Would I deserve to be in the same place as
someone who devoted their life to … whatever? Like, I don’t know. A nun,
or something.”
“A nun,” Hugo repeated, struggling against laughter. “You’re comparing
yourself to a nun.”
“Shut up,” Wallace grumbled. “You know what I mean.”
“I do,” he said, voice light and teasing. “Kinda would give almost
anything to see you in a nun’s habit, though.”
Wallace sighed. “Pretty sure that’s blasphemous.”
Hugo snorted before sobering. He seemed to be mulling something over in
his mind. Wallace waited, not wanting to push. Finally, Hugo said, “Can I tell
you something?”
“Yeah. Of course. Anything.”