Preneur World March 2023

Unshakeable Confidence
Diana Robertson is a member of Toastmasters International
which provides communication & leadership skills
Based on lessons from
my personal experience,
let me share four
actionable ways to
build your Unshakeable
Confidence.
1. IDENTIFY AREAS
IN WHICH YOU ARE
ALREADY CONFIDENT
Ask yourself the question:
“What am I already good at?” Awareness of what
you have already been successfully doing in your
life is the first and most important step you can take
towards building your confidence. Answers may
range from being a talented musician to being a
good parent or friend. Scribble down any ideas that
come to mind because everything you are good at is
valuable.
What this will highlight is that confidence is not
absolute – because no individual on this planet is
fully confident about everything in their life. All
of us feel confident about particular aspects we
know we are good at. And each of us struggles with
specific areas that need improvement. Yet, when we
face our pain points, rather than offering constructive
solutions, our minds may find that there is something
wrong with our entire being.
Keep track of what you’re good at and avoid
identifying your overall confidence with the areas
you feel the least certain about. Remember that noone
is good at everything, whilst developing new
skills and gaining new knowledge is entirely under
your control.
2. CHANGE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS USING
POSITIVE STATEMENTS
Changing your thoughts is easier said than done.
However, our thought patterns are no different to the
muscles in our bodies. Both can be trained.
A great way to begin reprogramming your mind is
to repeat encouraging affirmations or statements
before facing challenging situations. To find what
particular affirmation will work best for you, go with
the opposite of your negative thought. For example, if
you think “I’m terrified of being called out to share
my opinion on a work Zoom call”, you can replace
that statement with “I’m so excited to share my
opinion on the call!”.
Give yourself time to practise your affirmations
properly so that they sink in. If a certain affirmation
doesn’t work for you, improvise. What’s important
is to create and repeat affirmations which make you
feel better about yourself.
3. QUESTION YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
If affirmations don’t appeal, there is a more analytical
approach which I learned from my performance
coaches. By answering the following questions, you
will find out the fears that are hidden behind your
lack of confidence and learn how to transform your
destructive thought patterns into constructive ones.
Jot down, record, or simply answer:
1. How can I describe the exact negative thoughts on
this particular subject in only one sentence?
2. Is this thought 100% true? Is it factual or is it
simply my assumption?
3. What proves that this negative thought is partially
or completely false?
4. If the event that I most fear actually happened,
how would it genuinely affect my life? What would I
do (realistically and without exaggeration)?
5. If my best friend had this exact same thought, what
would I tell them?
These questions have helped me through very
difficult times. I hope they will be useful to you too.
4. CELEBRATE SMALL ACHIEVEMENTS
Sometimes, when we take on difficult projects
we’ve never done before, they don’t exactly go to
plan. In these situations, it’s easy to forget that a
single unsuccessful event means little. True success
is achieved through taking small, consistent steps
towards your goal. So, if you’ve just failed at
something, remember; the key to becoming better
at anything is to keep your focus on your progress
over longer periods rather than ruminating about the
setbacks along the way.
Why is this shift of focus so important? Because with
this approach, you are attaching a number of small
successful experiences to your journey, thus enabling
you to notice your improvements. This results in
building new neural pathways responsible for the
positive events in the struggle area and transforming
it into a normal area. This is a part of the habit
formation process that Charles Duhigg talks about in
his book The Power of Habit.
Regardless of what happens along your journey,
your job is to always interpret your attempts as steps
towards your success.
PRENEUR WORLD 13