9781626569768

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What have you been holding in secrecy, shame, or embarrassment?How has it kept you disconnected from others? What are you willingto let go of for the sake of connection?Tool 10: Give Yourself Some GraceThis book, just like life, makes you no promises, but I would like to offeryou one guarantee. I assure you that after you have read this entire bookfrom cover to cover, you will still have days when you do not love yourbody. Here’s the good news: it is perfectly okay! Let’s just say you skippedall thirty thousand words of writing up to this point and through somehappenstance of page sorcery landed on this page. I would personallycongratulate you for arriving at the Holy Grail of the ten tools: grace. Evenif you categorically rejected every piece of information you have beengiven thus far, tool 10 will still guide you to the unapologetic power ofradical self-love. As long as we live in a world constructed of body shameand body terrorism, the radical self-love journey will be a daunting one attimes. Despite my having all the pillars, tools, and unapologetic inquiries atmy disposal, and running an entire organization focused exclusively onradical self-love, there are still days when I do not like this black, queer, fat,neurodivergent body.Does this mean I am a radical self-love failure? No, it means I am ahuman being living in a world that still profits from body shame. Every daywe awake to messages that reinforce the narrative that we are deficient. Thebody-shame amplifier will occasionally ring loud enough to feel like it isdrowning out the chorus of our divinity. On those days, the work is still tolove. Religious people consider grace the free and unmerited favor of God.Free and unmerited favor is a gift we can extend to ourselves regardless offaith or doctrine. We do not have to earn radical self-love. Our perfectexecution of each pillar and tool will not get us a higher grade in the radicalself-love class. The act of giving yourself some grace is the practice ofloving the you that does not like your body. On the days we feel the mostdeficient, the most chased down by the dog of shame, what is being calledforth from us is more love—not because we earned it but because we neverhad to. To give grace to oneself is to move beyond words like worthy anddeserving, terms that still imply qualification and quantity. When werecognize ourselves as the embodiment of radical self-love, we stop trying
to assess our worth. We begin to understand that it is inherent andunquantifiable. Love just is. We just are… love.Radical ReflectionThe most powerful antidote to a world of body terrorism is a world ofcompassion. Giving yourself the gift of grace is an act of revolution!
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Praise for The Body Is Not an Apolo
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The Body Is Not an Apology
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The Body Is Not an ApologyCopyright
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For Terry Lyn Hines (1959-2012)My f
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ContentsPrologue1 Making Self-Love
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PrologueLong before there was a dig
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about my dimpled thighs I’d hear,
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The Body Is Not an Apology
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struggling with his sense of self (
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not abstractions; they are the outc
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Biggest Loser encourage dangerous a
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and accept the bodies of others. Th
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render for being in your body as yo
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guilt and blame squarely on the sho
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notion with me, I did what any Gen
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1. Make peace with not understandin
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diversity in weight and size are na
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television show and into living in
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partially-bald head would never be
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afternoon, while Nia, I, and severa
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are capable of change. Seeing diffe
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encounter feeling as if they had do
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still echoing against the walls of
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masculine identities or whose gende
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Unapologetic Inquiry #13How has bod
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possibilities, and creative possibi
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We know we are on the island of det
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• The “Asexualization Act” of
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Remember, most us live at the inter
Page 61 and 62: Radical ReflectionOur beliefs about
Page 63 and 64: to my next destination, under the o
Page 65 and 66: 3Building a Radical Self-Love Pract
Page 67 and 68: the world. Swim at Your Own Risk.
Page 69 and 70: “But how do I break out of the fe
Page 71 and 72: Have you ever met someone and thoug
Page 73 and 74: of our heads and into our bodies. L
Page 75 and 76: you watch, read, or listen to somet
Page 77 and 78: slabs of separation, giving us much
Page 79 and 80: talking a brand-new life. Perhaps t
Page 81 and 82: 4A New Way Ordered by LoveA World f
Page 83 and 84: enough. Although each of us is inhe
Page 85 and 86: that!” “He needs to stop being
Page 87 and 88: not abdicate our responsibility for
Page 89 and 90: employment discrimination, housing
Page 91 and 92: terrorism in all the ways it manife
Page 93 and 94: resentments. We place a premium on
Page 95 and 96: 5Your Radical Self-Love ToolkitYou
Page 97 and 98: Unapologetic Inquiry #24Do you feel
Page 99 and 100: impacting how we see and treat fat
Page 101 and 102: Consider the ways in which you have
Page 103 and 104: • My body is my ally.• I have t
Page 105 and 106: “How might I approach life differ
Page 107 and 108: Unapologetic Inquiry #28Ecstasy is
Page 109 and 110: Our body shame is a story whose cha
Page 111: much to offer us in our efforts to
Page 115 and 116: radical self-love should have resid
Page 117 and 118: 14. “Persons with a Disability: L
Page 119 and 120: 27. D. Artavia, “Greece Reinstate
Page 121 and 122: 5. “We Remember Bad Times Better
Page 123 and 124: Black Youth Project 100 http://byp1
Page 125 and 126: for Dr. Jacelyn Bronte. I am certai
Page 127 and 128: Biggest Loser, The, 7binary, banish
Page 129 and 130: “Danger of Poodle Science, The,
Page 131 and 132: Jim Crow, 84jogging, negative exper
Page 133 and 134: systems of oppression, 46thoughts,
Page 135 and 136: transgender individuals: body shami
Page 137 and 138: About the AuthorSonya Renee Taylor
Page 139 and 140: About TBINAAwww.TBINAA.comThe Body
Page 141 and 142: A BK Life BookBK Life books help pe
Page 143: Questions? Comments? Contact me atb
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