9781626569768

consider what navigating the already treacherous terrain of rapid body
change might be like for bodies that do not fit the definition of normal.
What of the child whose gender identity does not match the changes their
body is experiencing during puberty? What of the child navigating puberty
in a fat body or a body with chronic illness? Our experiences of body shame
are layered upon and impacted by the intersections of our identities. The
less “normal” our identity, the more fraught the waters of body shame.
Research shows that nearly 50 percent of transgender youth have seriously
thought about suicide, and 25 percent report that they have made a suicide
attempt. 4 How we are treated during puberty can be not only life-altering
but life-threatening for some young people. As we consider our own bodyshame
origin story, we have potent access to a deeper empathy for all
bodies.
Body shame is often a result of our burgeoning consciousness about our
own difference. Whew, we sure do have a long-standing battle with our
difference. Our first encounter with noticing our difference might have been
when Billy in second grade pointed out that we had the biggest schnozzle…
ahem… nose in the class. Maybe that consciousness came into focus with
the awareness of our racial or sexual identities. Humans struggle with that
second Peace. Part of our evolutionary success can be attributed to our skill
at quickly assessing danger. “Nope, that is not a person; that is a boa
constrictor!” See, quick! In an evolutionary sense, humans’ ability to
discern difference assured that we stayed near the top of the food chain.
Whereas noticing difference was historically necessary, modern humans
have continued to use difference to sort ourselves, conflating difference
with danger. Our rapid assessment of difference can be understood through
a psychosocial dynamic called “in-group out-group bias.” In 1982,
researcher Henry Tajfel divided people into two random groups. He found
that people began to favor their random group over people in the other
random group (emphasis on random), at times even rationalizing reasons
for the other group’s immorality or poor character to justify disliking them. 5
Our ancient ancestors’ battles for resources, food, even mates ensured that
humans needed to find ways to identify who was part of their tribe and who
was not. This in-group out-group distinction also meant that those outside
our group were seen as a threat to our resources. Ultimately we are wired to
recognize difference and maybe even distrust it. However, we were also
wired to eat bugs and to poop in a hole in the ground. The point being, we