9781626569768

asked to shrink ourselves in size, presence, and power? To be bold and
unapologetic is to quickly be maligned as cocky, arrogant, or worse. Couple
this with the capitalistic model of scarcity that supposes there is not enough
money, space, time, or love for us all, and it is no wonder we find ourselves
abdicating our personal power to uplift our friends. What happens when we
toss out that tired model and stand unapologetically in our power? We not
only embolden ourselves but also inspire those we love to do the same.
Radical Reflection
Self-deprecation is valued as a sign of wit in today’s culture.
Comedians Louis C.K. and Amy Schumer have risen to great fame on
the backs of their perceived flaws and inadequacies. Unfortunately,
this brand of humor also makes it easier to make fun of others.
Singer/songwriter Jill Scott did exactly that in the concert documentary
Dave Chappelle’s Block Party. 1 In the film, Scott is being interviewed by a
reporter in the green room while her industry peer Erykah Badu is lighting
up the stage with her performance. The reporter and Jill gush over Badu for
a moment, praising her prowess. Then the reporter asks Scott whether she’s
nervous in light of the fact that she must follow Badu’s performance. Jill
Scott’s response was as apple-pie sweet as it was guillotine swift: “Have
you ever seen me perform?”
Scott did not see shirking her power or shrinking her talent as a
prerequisite for appreciating and supporting a fellow artist. She was
unapologetically clear that owning her gifts in no way diminished Badu’s.
Radical self-love does not call on us to be less of ourselves. Radical selflove
summons us to be our most expansive selves, knowing that the more
unflinchingly powerful we allow ourselves to be, the more unflinchingly
powerful others feel capable of being. Our unapologetic embrace of our
bodies gives others permission to unapologetically embrace theirs.
How we speak about our bodies impacts how we experience our bodies.
Language can be a tool for body terrorism or a tool for radical self-love.
Pejoratively using words like fat entrenches body shame into our psyches,