A Leader's Guide to Trauma in the Unit - US Army War College

Army War College Spouses’ Project
As a leader, you may have several groups with different emotions to deal with. This is
especially true in combat. Your main effort is with the family of the deceased, but you
will also be looked to for help, guidance, information and support from spouses whose
soldiers have been injured and those whose soldiers are still in harm’s way. Get with
other leaders in your unit to divide the responsibilities. Refer spouses to the Rear
Detachment whenever possible. Remember that you are not the only one who has to plan,
organize and do. Let the people responsible (the Commander, CAO, Chaplain) do their
job. Be sure to take offers of help. If someone offers to help, take their name and number
and call them when a need arises.
The unit may want to consider having a meeting with Battalion and Company leaders and
spouses. This provides an opportunity for them to be informed about what is going on. It
also gives them an opportunity to bond together as a group after this tragedy. Companies
may want to have a meeting with their soldiers/families for the same purpose.
Remember that the unit is grieving and you are grieving. This is especially true if the
soldier was your friend. It may be harder to support your friend due to your own grief.
Lower your expectations that you may have of yourself. Allow yourself to grieve.
“One who has no time to mourn, has no time to mend.” --John Dunn
PRACTICAL IDEAS
The following are some guidelines on how the Family Readiness Group can help family
members after a casualty. Every circumstance is different and what works well in one
situation may not work at all in another. Ask if you can lend specific help. Let them know
what you are available to do. Coordinate efforts of all those willing and able to offer help.
The following are some areas where assistance may be most urgently needed:
1. Around the House:
• Is English the first language of family members, or do they need assistance with
translation?
• Are bills due?
• Is assistance needed with housecleaning or lawn care? Are there errands that can be
run?
• Are meals necessary? If so, are there special needs or dietary restrictions? (see
Appendix – Meal Support)
• Is pet care required?
• Do they wish help in organizing condolence letters and gifts so notes of thanks may
be sent later?
2. Children:
• What are their ages?
• Is childcare required?
________________________________________________________________________
14
A Leader’s Guide to Trauma in the Unit April 2004