A Leader's Guide to Trauma in the Unit - US Army War College

Army War College Spouses’ Project
• About a week after the death, or when it seems appropriate to you, consider the
gift of a blank journal to the spouse. Everyone reacts and grieves differently, but
this is a gesture that is often appreciated.
• Offer to help with thank-you notes.
• Several months from now an official report about the death and the cause will be
presented to the spouse. Please remember that this can be a very difficult time for
the spouse and for the unit.
• If the death occurred during a deployment, it will be very difficult for the family
member when the unit returns. Make a special effort to reach out with phone calls,
notes or visits. It is especially meaningful if those who knew and were deployed
with the soldier contact the spouse, children and parents.
• Scholarship assistance for dependent survivors of the soldier is provided by many
schools, colleges, special scholarship funds and by state law.
FRUSTRATIONS
During this very hectic, emotional and stressful time, be sure to take the time to let your
own family know how much they mean to you.
Be patient. Grieving takes a long time, and there is no right timetable. Don’t expect the
spouse to return to normal; normal, as it was before, is gone forever.
IMPLICATIONS
How trauma is handled in the unit has long-term effects on the unit family. The unit, as a
family, may grow as members see how they care for one another.
“The hardest thing that I have ever had to do is to be a part of the initial support to
family members whose soldier had been killed. The experience changed me forever.”
--Company Commander’s Spouse
APPENDIX ITEMS
Grief
Meal Support
Caring Behaviors
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A Leader’s Guide to Trauma in the Unit April 2004