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A Leader's Guide to Trauma in the Unit - US Army War College

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<strong>Army</strong> <strong>War</strong> <strong>College</strong> Spouses’ Project<br />

• About a week after <strong>the</strong> death, or when it seems appropriate <strong>to</strong> you, consider <strong>the</strong><br />

gift of a blank journal <strong>to</strong> <strong>the</strong> spouse. Everyone reacts and grieves differently, but<br />

this is a gesture that is often appreciated.<br />

• Offer <strong>to</strong> help with thank-you notes.<br />

• Several months from now an official report about <strong>the</strong> death and <strong>the</strong> cause will be<br />

presented <strong>to</strong> <strong>the</strong> spouse. Please remember that this can be a very difficult time for<br />

<strong>the</strong> spouse and for <strong>the</strong> unit.<br />

• If <strong>the</strong> death occurred dur<strong>in</strong>g a deployment, it will be very difficult for <strong>the</strong> family<br />

member when <strong>the</strong> unit returns. Make a special effort <strong>to</strong> reach out with phone calls,<br />

notes or visits. It is especially mean<strong>in</strong>gful if those who knew and were deployed<br />

with <strong>the</strong> soldier contact <strong>the</strong> spouse, children and parents.<br />

• Scholarship assistance for dependent survivors of <strong>the</strong> soldier is provided by many<br />

schools, colleges, special scholarship funds and by state law.<br />

FR<strong>US</strong>TRATIONS<br />

Dur<strong>in</strong>g this very hectic, emotional and stressful time, be sure <strong>to</strong> take <strong>the</strong> time <strong>to</strong> let your<br />

own family know how much <strong>the</strong>y mean <strong>to</strong> you.<br />

Be patient. Griev<strong>in</strong>g takes a long time, and <strong>the</strong>re is no right timetable. Don’t expect <strong>the</strong><br />

spouse <strong>to</strong> return <strong>to</strong> normal; normal, as it was before, is gone forever.<br />

IMPLICATIONS<br />

How trauma is handled <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> unit has long-term effects on <strong>the</strong> unit family. The unit, as a<br />

family, may grow as members see how <strong>the</strong>y care for one ano<strong>the</strong>r.<br />

“The hardest th<strong>in</strong>g that I have ever had <strong>to</strong> do is <strong>to</strong> be a part of <strong>the</strong> <strong>in</strong>itial support <strong>to</strong><br />

family members whose soldier had been killed. The experience changed me forever.”<br />

--Company Commander’s Spouse<br />

APPENDIX ITEMS<br />

Grief<br />

Meal Support<br />

Car<strong>in</strong>g Behaviors<br />

________________________________________________________________________<br />

18<br />

A Leader’s <strong>Guide</strong> <strong>to</strong> <strong>Trauma</strong> <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Unit</strong> April 2004

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