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A Leader's Guide to Trauma in the Unit - US Army War College

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<strong>Army</strong> <strong>War</strong> <strong>College</strong> Spouses’ Project<br />

4. Outside Influences:<br />

• Was <strong>the</strong> spouse employed? Has <strong>the</strong> employer been contacted?<br />

• Does <strong>the</strong> family attend church off post, and has <strong>the</strong> pas<strong>to</strong>r been notified?<br />

• Are <strong>the</strong>re appo<strong>in</strong>tments <strong>to</strong> be canceled?<br />

5. <strong>Unit</strong> Family:<br />

• Show concern, offer care and support. Sometimes people want <strong>to</strong> be alone and<br />

sometimes people need o<strong>the</strong>rs surround<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong>m.<br />

• Allow <strong>the</strong> person time <strong>to</strong> cope <strong>in</strong> his or her own manner. Do not rush <strong>the</strong>m.<br />

• Identify volunteers with<strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> unit who are will<strong>in</strong>g <strong>to</strong> assist with required needs of<br />

<strong>the</strong> family.<br />

• Are <strong>the</strong>re o<strong>the</strong>r units on <strong>the</strong> <strong>in</strong>stallation who may have FRG members less<br />

emotionally <strong>in</strong>volved who are will<strong>in</strong>g <strong>to</strong> offer assistance?<br />

• How is unit morale be<strong>in</strong>g affected? Is <strong>the</strong>re a need for grief counsel<strong>in</strong>g, and do<br />

unit members and <strong>the</strong>ir family members know where <strong>to</strong> go <strong>to</strong> get it?<br />

• Realize that discomfort and awkwardness occur for all concerned. People who<br />

want <strong>to</strong> help may feel guilty because <strong>the</strong>y haven’t suffered this particular tragedy,<br />

or <strong>the</strong>y simply may not know what <strong>to</strong> say or do.<br />

6. Funeral Arrangements:<br />

• Is <strong>the</strong> funeral <strong>to</strong> be local, or does <strong>the</strong> family need assistance prepar<strong>in</strong>g for<br />

departure?<br />

• If <strong>the</strong> funeral is not local, will <strong>the</strong> family want a memorial service? What<br />

assistance can <strong>the</strong> unit offer?<br />

• Does <strong>the</strong> family require assistance writ<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong> death notice for <strong>the</strong> newspaper?<br />

• Does <strong>the</strong> family prefer donations <strong>to</strong> a particular organization or charity <strong>in</strong> lieu of<br />

flowers?<br />

• The unit may consider giv<strong>in</strong>g a memorial of a plant, bush or tree (someth<strong>in</strong>g that<br />

is liv<strong>in</strong>g).<br />

• Is someone available <strong>to</strong> housesit dur<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong> funeral?<br />

• Does <strong>the</strong> family need help gett<strong>in</strong>g ready for <strong>the</strong> funeral?<br />

• Are <strong>the</strong>re young children who may need childcare dur<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong> funeral? Make sure<br />

<strong>the</strong> childcare providers know how <strong>the</strong> death was expla<strong>in</strong>ed <strong>to</strong> <strong>the</strong> children.<br />

• Will <strong>the</strong>re be a ga<strong>the</strong>r<strong>in</strong>g after <strong>the</strong> service? If so, does <strong>the</strong> family require help with<br />

food, location, clean-up?<br />

7. After <strong>the</strong> Funeral:<br />

The time that a unit can be <strong>the</strong> most helpful may be after <strong>the</strong> immediate family leaves<br />

<strong>the</strong> area and when close friends are resum<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong>ir normal activities.<br />

• Keep <strong>in</strong> <strong>to</strong>uch with <strong>the</strong> family. Remember <strong>the</strong>m with quick calls, notes or<br />

whatever is <strong>the</strong> most appropriate <strong>to</strong> <strong>the</strong> situation. As you are keep<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> <strong>to</strong>uch, be<br />

aware of signs that <strong>the</strong>y are ready <strong>to</strong> once aga<strong>in</strong> participate <strong>in</strong> unit functions or<br />

activities and make <strong>the</strong>m welcome.<br />

________________________________________________________________________<br />

38<br />

A Leader’s <strong>Guide</strong> <strong>to</strong> <strong>Trauma</strong> <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Unit</strong> April 2004

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