Splintered Lives - Barnardo's

their experience, for example, badness, shame and guilt. They learn this both from
explicit and implicit behaviours of their abuser/s and the silence and other responses
they encounter more generally. Where abuse includes sexual exploitation additional
levels of stigma and social meaning are added. For example, where a permanent record
(or records) have been made of one's abuse and/or where one is known by police or
other agencies to have been selling sex. Much of the literature on adult women who do
sex work refers to this as a stigmatised identity. Telling others, seeking support, is,
therefore, fraught with concerns about being seen and treated in particular ways.
Betrayal
Where the abuser is someone the child ought to have been able to trust, especially a
family member or carer, one of the most damaging elements is the betrayal of this trust.
This applies, though, to any situation where the process of entrapment has involved
gaining a child's trust, and possibly even their affection and loyalty. Children who are
involved in organised sexual abuse rings frequently have their trust betrayed and
manipulated in multiple ways, and children who have been sold into sexual slavery by
their parents are likely to experience this as an intense betrayal. Surviving on the street
often necessitates beginning from a basic position of mistrust. On the other side,
especially for young children, they may still long for non-abusive care and affection. This
potent combination can result in contradictory and inconsistent behaviour. The
disruption of trust has clear implications both for the willingness of children and young
people to talk about what has happened to them, and for longer term supportive work.
All potential supporters need to begin from understanding that they have to continually
demonstrate that they are trustworthy.
Powerlessness
The experience of ongoing and/or repeated abuse involves being repeatedly denied
choice, control and safety. This is further reinforced when attempts to avoid, limit and/or
stop abuse are frustrated and when attempts to make others understand fail. A sense of
efficacy, being able to make a difference is undermined. Being unable to prevent others
seeing recorded evidence of one's abuse is an obvious example, as may be the lack of
alternatives to prostitution for young runaways. In these circumstances telling anyone
else may be, justifiably, perceived as a pointless gesture.
Enforced silence
In the majority of cases of ongoing abuse the abuser uses a range of strategies to
enforce silence. Specific threats about the consequences of telling are extremely
effective and may include physical threats as well as statements about the 'victim' not
being believed and/or being blamed. These latter threats have additional power in a
social context where children and adults are aware, either from personal experience or
imputed knowledge, that this may indeed be the response of others. We have already
noted the additional levels of coercive control used by organised rings. The existence of
pornographic records in which the child or young person has feigned enjoyment will act
as a powerful silencer, as will being involved in the recruitment of others onto organised
networks.
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