Unikum januar 2020

door from the authorities. I had fifteen minutes to
collect my stuff and get out. Within the next hours
of pain and panic, I was able to get a ticket home,
call my parents to say I was coming home to prepare
for exams, and pay off most of my debt.
Being home with my family and friends made me
better than I had been for almost six months, but even
though my intention was still to prepare for the exams,
I was not able to. When the exams came, I faked going
back to Oslo and hid in the garage loft for two days.
My Second Last Year of Studying in “Oslo”
After what I assume was a nice summer vacation
(I do not remember), I was still intent on returning
to Oslo. But I was too slow to sign up for classes.
I could only sign up for the exams, which I did
with the intention of preparing on my own.
I was still delusional about my own mental health,
however. I was still incapable of admitting that something
was severely wrong. Somehow, I got the brilliant
idea of staying in my hometown and faking going
back to Oslo. I got a very cheap room and moved in.
Obviously, this did not go well. I really did try to study,
but given my perpetual exhaustion, I was only able to
read a little at a time. I was not able to keep this up,
which only added to my depression and pain. Soon, I
was back to only passing time and staving off the pain.
All the while telling my family that I had started
my third year of law school in Oslo.
I do not remember for how long I was able to keep
this up; it might have been a couple of months. What
made it all come crashing down was when my parents
were visiting Oslo and wanted to see me.
When they called me about this, I panicked and told
them I was sick and wanted to rest and be alone.
My parents elected to visit me to comfort me.
They went to where I allegedly lived
and knocked on “my” door.
Someone else opened it.
At this point, they realised something was horribly
wrong and that I had been lying to them.
When they got back to my hometown, they found
out from a friend where I was living.
They finally called to tell me that they knew I was not in
Oslo. When I tried to explain it away, my father simply
responded with “we are outside your apartment”.
It was an immense shock to them to find me like this.
I had always been studious and intelligent. I had always
done well in school. I had been a great brother to my
three younger siblings. I had had no history of lying or
known issues with mental health. I had been forthcoming
and transparent about most things in my life.
For them to discover that I had been lying about
exams, about my living- and financial situation,
about my studies… I was an alien with only the haggard
and tired face of someone they once knew.
JANUAR 2020 UNIKUM NR 1 13