Call us if you want to place an ad in our next issue: (971)238-4687 or email: info@afishapdx.com WARNING SIGNS OF POTENTIAL PREDATORS The Mama Bear Effect: Prevention Tip of the Week: With as much as 95% of child sexual abuse being perpetrated by people we know - they often don’t need to do much to gain our trust or access to our children, they already have it. However, some patterns of offenders have been identified and we would like to discuss them with you to better prepare your sense of instinct if you see this type of behavior - not just for the sake of your children, but for the children of others in your family, community, etc. 1. This can happen in a family or event setting - an adult that is spending most of their time playing with the kids. Sure we all like to play with our kids, but we generally also like to take a break and socialize with our adult friends, too. Some offenders will be so set upon identifying a good target and building a rapport with them, they will take advantage of any time they can have with children. 2. In order to break down a child’s defenses, family and nonfamily offenders often use what would generally be considered as innocent touching to make the child, and others, use to their touching. Then when alone with the child, they progress to sexual interaction. 3. Offenders that don’t have easy access to children will need to find a family or organization that will. The quickest way to do this, is to appear as ‘perfect’ and helpful as possible. What seems like an answer to the prayers of a family in need, or organization looking for good help - is actually a trap. 4. Offenders that live or share their home with children may take opportunities to walk in various states of undress, encourage children to do the same - accidentally walk in while a child is dressing or using the bathroom, etc. They may take the attitude that the naked body is natural and normal in order to deter people from seeing their true intentions. 5. Some offenders - especially parents, grandparents are very controlling of children - deciding what they wear, who they can see etc. Sexual abuse is, for many offenders, about control and this can come through in their everyday behavior. 6. Sexual offenders that have a preference for a certain-aged child, may show a pattern of having a close relationship with a certain child and then find a new child once their victim is beyond their age of preference or they no longer have access (ex they moved into a new grade). FYI: a Pedophile has a sexual attraction to pre-pubescent children, a Hebephile has a sexual preference for children during puberty. 7. Some offenders are brazen enough to talk about children in a sexual way. One mother noticed her second husband began paying more attention to her daughter and making comments about her figure once she developed breasts and was becoming more adult-like. 8. Offenders don’t want to get caught- some may try to turn the tables on anyone that questions or becomes suspicious, accusing that person of having a sick mind, of not trusting them - anything they can say to make the other person feel crazy, even with physical evidence they will stick to their story of innocence. 9. Some predators may seek to lure children in their community with cool cars, toy collections, tree houses, etc. 10. Predators are successful offering free or low-cost babysitting to parents and gaining access to children. Childcare is not easy - we all must be wary of those that are eager to gain time alone with our children. One grandfather would sexually abuse his granddaughter telling her mother that she was ‘too attached’ to her and needed time away from her. 11. We call this a bait-andswitch technique, an offender, often a male in accomplice with a female (wife or girlfriend) will use them as a front. In one case, a woman that provided overnight nannying service to new parents allowed her husband to ‘substitute’ for her - the parents not wanting to be rude accepted him into their home and he sexually abused their other children. This can also hold true with childcare providers - they may sexually abuse the child and send photos/videos or allow the predator access to children, sometimes posing as staff or a volunteer. Our best advice - trust your gut! Anytime someone’s behavior or a situation makes you feel that something may be unsafe - listen! Our first priority must be the safety of children. Be open and vocal about your education in body safety and that you are ready to believe and defend them! For more: TheMamaBearEffect.org Tatyana I. Bondarchuk, MSW Crime Victim Advocate Lutheran Community Services NW tbondarchuk@lcsnw.org T: (971) 888-7833 F: (971) 703-4972 This article for the adult audience 84 March <strong>2017</strong> Будьте замечены!
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