“Det var et barn, jeg ikke fik, som jeg skulle have haft”

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”Det var et barn, jeg ikke fik, som jeg skulle have haft”. Et bachelorprojekt om narrativitet og provokerede sene aborter the termination itself. Though some preferred the atmosphere of the local hospital, several others felt that staff in their local hospitals didn't seem to understand what they were going through. Reference: G They found it helpful that staff at the specialist hospital understood them and the difficulties they were facing. Seeing doctors at a specialist clinic often meant that other specialists were asked to give opinions about the baby. Mostly this was viewed by parents in a positive light, but some were upset when the baby's abnormalities were described by doctors as 'interesting'. (See also 'Ending a pregnancy by induction'.) Reference: H He found it difficult when a consultant saw his baby on the scanner and described her as 'interesting'. Follow-up treatment sometimes didn't come up to people's expectations, particularly when women needed further treatment or consultations if there were any complications following the baby's delivery. Reference: I Described how upset she felt to be treated in a matter-of-fact way when she returned to hospital for two D & Cs after a surgical termination. Reference: J After the birth of her baby she contracted an infection and had to go back to hospital where the doctor treating her assumed she had a normal delivery. Some women recalled instances of poor communication between hospitals and hospital staff. Sometimes medical notes did not arrive in time at clinics, occasionally parents were kept waiting by senior doctors who didn't realise an appointment had been booked. Being kept waiting two or three hours for an appointment about termination in a clinic full of pregnant women was a common cause of distress to many people. 67
Last reviewed May 2012. ”Det var et barn, jeg ikke fik, som jeg skulle have haft”. Et bachelorprojekt om narrativitet og provokerede sene aborter Reference: Field, Kate (2012b): Lokaliseret [010413] på http://www.healthtalkonline.org/Pregnancy_children/Ending_a_pregnancy_for_fetal_ab normality/Topic/2006/ Losing the baby: Coping with bereavement - women's experiences Coping with the sadness of losing a baby, regret for what might have been and guilt for having ended a life, can take women months or years - a woman reflecting on what happened to her 8 years ago said 'I don't know if you ever get over it - you learn to live with it'. Some women said they had accepted the loss of the baby and no longer blamed themselves for what had happened. Several wanted other women to know that it was normal to feel extremely sad at first, but that in time they would recover from the experience and feel better - they wanted others to know that they would feel better in time and that 'something good can come out of it'. Reference: A Says that as terrible as it feels at the time the sadness does get better and you can cope with it. Reference: B She's learned that you can recover from ending a pregnancy and put your experiences to good use. Most women described how they felt 'empty' and sad for some weeks after leaving hospital. Many women had taken time off work - or been given time off work - to help them recover emotionally and physically. Some women said that though they had felt very unhappy for months afterwards and had been wrapped up in their loss, they now accepted what they had done, and said that time had helped to heal them. For many women, having other children to look after helped them feel better and gave them 'a reason to get up in the morning'. Reference: C She cried everyday for weeks before realising after several months that she was starting to think about other things. Reference: D 68
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