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Pirates of the N. Atlantic BY DAN WALSH ACCORDING TO THE LAND-GRAB EXPERTS AT THE NATURAL RESOURCES DEPARTMENT (CHARLIE PARKER, PROP.), OVER 28,000 INDIVIDUAL PARCELS OF LAND IN NOVA SCOTIA ARE WITHOUT AN ORIGINAL CROWN GRANT. Until now Natural Resources has refused to disclose the number of properties it considers ungranted Crown land. That means about 250,000 acres — almost the size of the resort island of Martinique — are not protected from marauding gangs of government bureaucrats, who are known to launch vicious volleys of lawyer’s letters, designed to tie up unsuspecting homeowners in years of litigation while the province makes off with stolen property. As serious Frankcologists will tell you, in the past decade Nova Scotia took a page from the Robert Mugabe playbook and began to steal privately owned land without compensating landowners (Frank 607,596,595,589,588,587). “Expropriation without compensation” is a policy practised and preached by Zimbabwean dictator Mugabe, but perfected by Nova Scotia’s Natural Resources (Charlie Parker, Prop.). As its logic-defying argument goes, if the province is unable to locate an original Leonette (Lea) Purcell Missing since December 16, 2004 Declared dead on October 17, 2006 May 6, 2011... 2 AS OF 3 3 1 DAYS WITHOUT A TRACE 2 FRANK MAGAZINE MAY 24, 2011 Charlie Parker (not exactly as illustrated). Crown grant — often written on sheepskin and dating back to the 18th century, 100plus years before French anarchists coined the famous black-flag waving phrase “property is theft” — the land reverts to Crown ownership in a heartbeat. Incredibly, it doesn’t matter if the property has been privately owned for hundreds of years, and government taxes were always paid. If no Crown grant can be located, the land belongs to the Crown without recourse. Some with deep pockets are challenging these goonlike Mugabe tactics before the courts, and slowly the Natural Resources Dept. is being forced to tweak its land grab regulations. In its latest amendment, announced in an April 19 press release, the department appears to be taking into consideration a recent Court Of Appeal decision, which hung the province out to dry on its failure to recognize the history of settlement on Brill Island in Lunenburg County. The new amendment claims to take the historical land use into consideration when determining if government can steal the disputed property. Natural Resources wants to clear up its land-theft guidelines by April’s Fool Day 2013. dan@atlanticfrank.ca FRANK MAGAZINE HALIFAX, NOVA SCOTIA ISSUE 611 MAY 24, 2011 Friends, I am deeply honoured to stand before you tonight as the leader of a majority Conservative government. Let me be perfectly clear. I’m a friend to all Canadians, not just the Canadians who voted for me. I think of it this way. The friends who voted for me are the kind of special friends I go that extra mile for. A cup of sugar here, a Senate appointment there. On the other hand, my other friends are the sort that I smile at and wave to on the street, despite the fact that they are very likely a patsy for the Taliban. Friends, if you’re like me, you wear your tiny Canadian flag pin with pride while accessing one-tier universal health care, supporting our troops and drinking Tim Horton’s coffee. You read activist Supreme Court decisions at the hockey game before heading to the cottage on the lake to hunt with your registered long gun and cavort with bikini girls in the fresh, relatively unpolluted air. You enjoy a good gay marriage, plate of poutine, abortion, and seeing criminals getting out of jail before they’re 80 80 as much as the next guy. Friends, I give you my solemn oath: these things will all continue to exist, some in real life, some in beer commercials, and others as treasured memories. God bless all of you, God keep our land glorious and free, and God help, er, bless, Canada. — — United United Republic Republic Republic of of Canada Canada President President Stephen Stephen Harper Harper Managing editor: Andrew Douglas Chief reporter: Dan Walsh Staff reporters: Neal Ozano Mairin Prentiss Jacob Boon Contributor: Murray Johnston Copy editor/Layout: Joan Westen Frank is a magazine of news, satire, opinion, comment and humour published every two weeks by Coltsfoot Publishing Limited. Copyright Coltsfoot Publishing Limited. Coltsfoot Publishing is the proprietor and publisher of Frank. Mailing address: Frank Magazine, P.O. Box 295, Halifax, B3J 2N7. Physical address: Champlain Building, 5162 Duke St., 4th Floor, Halifax, N.S. Subscriptions: see back page. Publications Mail Agreement No. 40050490. Phone: 420-1668. Fax: 423-0281. E-mail: atlanticfrank@ eastlink.ca. Toll-free Tips Hotline: 1- 888-335-5505. Letters, see Pages 3, 30. We acknowledge the financial support of the Government of Canada through the Canada Periodical Fund (CPF) for our publishing activities.
Letters Just testing... Dear Frank: I am obliged to point out your misattribution in Frank 610, when you identified Greenwin Property communications officer Jennifer Green as “Gonophore Green.” As you are undoubtedly aware, a gonophore is the Hydrozoa reproductive organ which uses the primordium of the subumbrella to form germ cells on the inner entocodon until a ring of branching stalks rise out from the hydranth and ultimately produce the sexual cells, or, gametes. I sincerely hope the requisite discipline has been handed out for this error. In good faith, Dr. Buggup Mai Ass, Some Ivy Tower, Somewhere Separated at birth? Dear Frank: I nearly fell out of my chair on election night, when ole Chrome Dome Peter Mansbridge thought he saw Prince Harry at Peter MacKay’s campaign office, and it turned out to be Tory insider and kilt-wearing bagpiper Tyler Cameron. I wonder how many folks in Pictou County watched the Royal Wedding and asked, “What is Tyler doing as Prince William’s best man?” Roy Al Genes, New Glasgow Prince Harry More letters on Page 30 PO Box 295, Halifax, N.S. B3J 2N7 Frank News Tips Hotline 1-888-335-5505 www.atlanticfrank.ca Tyler Cameron MAY 24, 2011 FRANK MAGAZINE 3
Page 1: Convicted molester moves to Bedford
Page 5 and 6: BY ANDREW DOUGLAS WITH ALL DUE RESP
Page 7 and 8: BY NEAL OZANO GERALD KEDDY’S CONS
Page 9 and 10: ELECTION 2011 Is Karlheinz here yet
Page 11 and 12: Has anybody else had enough of LeRo
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Page 15 and 16: Lonely at Rowan BY DAN WALSH ONLY T
Page 17 and 18: One hopes former Chief Justice Lorn
Page 19 and 20: Jumpin’ Judy Hare makes more than
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Page 35 and 36: OH NO! WITHOUT OUR PRECIOUS X-WOMEN

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