CODEPENDENCE - DEAN AMORY

Why did you feel "addicted" to this relationship?
Because I felt I needed. It seemed to be a safe place to go for refuge. To me, she
seemed like a safe haven.
I tried to find my satisfaction and fulfillment in Anna. But, she could hardly meet a tenth
of what I expected or thought I needed from her.
When did you start to see a problem with your relationship?
Anna's relatives and close friends would say that we hung out too much. But both of us
were too entrenched in our friendship to think anything was really wrong. We were both
needy and we both fulfilled needs in each other. But, at the same time, we weren't
satisfied because there was a void there that we could feel and sense, especially
spiritually. We knew that only God could fill that void and fulfill our needs, but we went
to each other instead of to God.
We began to realize that we were becoming too dependent on each other. At first there
was no way I'd drop her friendship, because she still meant the world to me. But after
spending more time with God and reading bookson friendship and codependence, we
were both seeing just how unhealthy the relationship had become.
Describe what your relationship looked like in its most dependent
stage...
Often Anna would get angry
easily because I was
manipulative and possessive.
I was outgoing and dominant,
and she, being opposite, was a
good follower. Our difference
in personality made it easy for
our friendship to get out of
balance.
Throughout this time I was
blinded to my other friends. I
didn't see how my other
friends were really important
to me. I also neglected to
value my own family. I cared
more about Anna coming over
on a family day more than I
cared about seeing my family.
I wanted to be with her all
the time. I would shower her with cards and gifts. She would do the same for me.
When I was hanging out with Anna I would try to control who she hung out with and
control how deep her friendship with others would get.