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Suggested feedback on organisation<br />
Students are very interested to hear about the reality of working in a bank.<br />
You should include things about working hours and clothes as well as details<br />
about what you do. In particular, students are interested in learning about the<br />
rewards and challenges of working in a bank, of dealing with customers and<br />
of remembering all the trades.<br />
…<br />
Students want to know what skills, qualifications, personality and experience<br />
are most<br />
…<br />
suited for working in a bank. Moreover, students want to know<br />
about professional development and promotion.<br />
Students should hear your expert advice for young graduates entering the<br />
bank. You can also talk about tips on what to include in an effective resume<br />
and points to highlight in an interview.<br />
Good paragraphing but cohesive devices<br />
could be used to present the three<br />
suggestions, e.g. first, also, finally<br />
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