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Helicopter Problem
A helicopter was fl ying around above
Seattle yesterday when an electrical
malfunction disabled all of the
aircraft’s electronic navigation and
communications equipment. Due
to the clouds and haze, the pilot
could not determine the helicopter’s
position and course to steer to the
airport. The pilot saw a tall building,
fl ew toward it, circled, drew
a handwritten sign, and held it in the
helicopter’s window. The pilot’s sign
said “WHERE AM I?” in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly
responded to the aircraft, drew a
large sign, and held it in a building
window. Their sign said “YOU ARE IN A
HELICOPTER.”
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his
map, determined the course to steer
to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the
co-pilot asked the pilot how the “YOU
ARE IN A HELICOPTER” sign helped
determine their position in Seatle.
The pilot responded “I knew that
had to be the MICROSOFT building
because, similar to their help-lines,
they gave me a technically correct but
completely useless answer.”
Man with no experience
I hate my job
When you have an “I hate my job”
day, try this: On your way home from
work, stop at the pharmacy, go to the
thermometers section and purchase
a rectal thermometer made by “Best
Thermo”. Be very sure you get this
brand.
When you get home, lock your doors,
draw the drapes, and disconnect the
phone so you will not be disturbed
during your therapy. Change to very
comfortable clothing, such as a
sweat suit and lie down on your bed.
Open the package and remove the
thermometer. Carefully place it on
the bedside table so that it will not
become chipped or broken.
Take out the material that comes with
the thermometer and read it. You will
notice that in small print there is a
statement: “Every rectal thermometer
made by Best Thermo is personally
tested.” Now close your eyes and
repeat out loud fi ve times: “I am so
glad I do not work for quality control
at the Best Thermo Company.”
Office Skills
“So tell me, Mrs. Smith,” asked the
interviewer, “have you any other
skills you think might be worth
mentioning?”
A Manager of a retail clothing store
is reviewing a potential employee’s
application and notices that the man
has never worked in retail before.
He says to the man, “For a man with
no experience, you are certainly
asking for a high wage.”
“Well Sir,” the applicant replies, “the
work is so much harder when you
don’t know what you’re doing!”
Newsflash: The world will end within the hour.
But first some words from our sponsors.
“Actually, yes,” said the applicant
modestly. “Last year I had two
short stories published in national
magazines, and I fi nished my novel.”
“Very impressive,” he commented,
“but I was thinking of skills you could
apply during offi ce hours.”
Mrs. Smith explained brightly, “Oh,
that was during offi ce hours.”
indometalworking news Vol. 2 / 2008 67