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290 ˜ A Work of Hospitality, 1982–2002
trigonometry, geometry, calculus. It just lets me know that I can learn what I
want if I put some effort into it. I was making As and Bs in that advanced stuff.
I got a loan, but before I could use it, I broke my leg, and I started drinking
again. That was my excuse for dropping out. That was a bad mistake I
made—not finishing at that school.
Right before I came to the Open Door I had a little camp set up on the railroad
tracks. It was pretty peaceful down there. The day before the freeze came,
the police came down there and wrecked our camp. They told us to leave, or
they’d lock us up. So I came up here.
It was raining that day, and I came to take a shower, to get some dry clothes
on. I had been drinking. I wasn’t drunk, or belligerent, or anything like that. I
don’t do those kind of things unless somebody mess with me. But I couldn’t take
a shower, or get dry clothes. That night it froze, and I froze with it. My feet froze
along with it.
I was laying out there in the yard. The blankets I had over me were frozen
around me like a tent. I had to take my shoes off during the night because they
were wet, and I figured if I took them off my feet would stay a little warmer. I
got up that morning and snow was on the ground. Everything was frozen; my
feet were frozen, and my shoes were frozen so hard I couldn’t put them back on.
Thank God I was in the yard. I hobbled up to the door, and Ed saw me,
and immediately he knew I was in trouble. I took a shower and changed clothes.
He asked me to stay for a couple of weeks for my feet to heal. I said, “Thank
you.”
Mainly now I don’t feel so badly about humanity. I’ve met some very kind,
compassionate people here—they care about others and will extend help to others
if they can. My mind has cleared up from all the abuse of living on the outside.
My body is healthier from eating good food and proper rest and being in
a peaceful, inspiring environment. I just feel better generally. I feel like I can go
out there and get me a job, stay straight, and try to find some semblance of decent
life.
For sure, I’m so glad that I came this way. It was a life-changing experience.
It was an attitude-changing experience, because like I said, it just made me realize
that there are still decent, compassionate people in this world. I had been out
there in those streets, homeless and jobless and doing whatever I could to survive
for so long, and being ignored and kicked to the side. That has a way of
clouding your view of all people. You become suspicious of all. You hold contempt
for all. You categorize all in the same negative blot. That’s mainly how
most homeless people get treated because of the way they’re dressed. They look
all unkempt and everything—unclean.
The Open Door categorized me, too, because I had been drinking. I can’t
blame you. You can’t tell how somebody’s going to act or react after they’ve been
drinking. Automatically you assume, “Oh, this guy is drunk. He’s going to cause