Toolkit with Report Form - Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic ...

Death Rituals
Sensitively removing/retiring objects that
remind staff and clients of the loss (such as
memorials, personal items, etc.) is important.
Handling this issue, like many other aspects
of responding to a crisis, is a balancing act.
Some people may be less ready to move on
than others. Yet, the longer things remain
in place, the more difficult it is to eventually
remove them. Work as a team to make these
decisions. Secure outside professional advice
if necessary. It is important to remove the
name of a deceased person from all mailing,
email and other lists.
Be sensitive to religious, cultural and ethnic
traditions and to appropriate etiquette
related to death, visitation procedures and
the funeral. Provide information on these
topics to clients, volunteers, BOD and staff,
if appropriate. If you believe that clients,
volunteers and/or staff may need support at
the visitation or funeral, develop a schedule
of volunteers who will be able to support
others at these functions. Secure non-agency
professionals if necessary. NOTE: KCIT could
be tapped for its “Companioning Model” to
provide this support.
Sudden Death Impacts
Every culture and every person reacts to
death differently. Death is often uncomfortable
to discuss. Grief is a term that typically
accompanies the topic of death; it is how
someone feels the loss internally, while
mourning is the outward, visible way to
show the grief and loss felt internally.
Some professionals working in the field of
anticipated/natural death and loss subscribe
to the “Five Stages of Grief” by Kessler &
Kubler-Ross: denial, anger, bargaining,
depression and acceptance. The stages
are not linear and are not the same for all
people; it’s merely a framework to better
equip individuals to live with loss.
The type of loss discussed here is not the
anticipatory or natural death most expect
as a result of a terminal diagnosis or old
age. The type of death discussed here
is unnatural, unanticipated and
therefore traumatic. The suddenness of the
loss typically throws loved ones into an
emotional crisis response, which includes
shock and/or denial immediately, followed
by a “cataclysm of emotions”: anger, grief,
despair, detachment, sorrow, and depending
on the circumstances, guilt and self-blame
could also be included. Eventually survivors
move toward rebuilding life without their
loved one but, over the long term, may
continue to feel spasms of sorrow and find
ways to remember the person they lost.
Section five
Grief is not linear.
There is no order of emotional reactions.
There is no timeline.
When Crisis Strikes | Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence | 2012 page 33