From Persecution to Prison - Bellevue/NYU Program for Survivors of ...

tion. An INS officer said they put me there because I refused the order[to leave the country]. ‘Segregation’ was a small room with no windows.The bathroom was in the room. They locked me in there with an officersitting outside the door watching me. The five days I was there I didn’teat anything. My neck was paining me [because of the struggle at theairport]. You are very alone. It can make you crazy.This same detainee, who had been transferred five times and was awaitinga final decision on her case from the Board of Appeals at the time ofher interview, described the continually deepening anxiety caused by thesesudden changes.I feel weak like somebody beat me. I don’t want to get out of bed.Whenever they call somebody, the heart be jumping. I’m thinking,‘Maybe I be next.’ Everyday I take aspirin, every time I start thinkingabout things, hear people being deported without even finishing theircases, They don’t want them to appeal, that gives me headache.Poor RecreationSixty percent of the individuals surveyed reported that they felt that theiraccess to recreational activities is inadequate. In one detention facility, anenclosed roof area was the only recreational facility.They have ‘outdoor’ for one hour but it is very small… to call it outdooris misleading, it’s a covered roof, with a little opening… Even in mycountry when I was in prison there was at least time when I could gooutside.Another detainee complained:No natural light… Not enough recreation time outside our room, oncea day 40-60 minutes, not really outside, it’s still inside the building andso stuffy. They follow you everywhere, as if you are a criminal.Another subject reported,There is nothing to do. You just sit there and talk. If I wasn’t in detention,I could go for a walk. But here, you are shut in with nowhere togo.Several detainees who were held in both INS facilities and county jailsnoted that sometimes the facilities in county jails, such as access to outsiderecreation, were better.I’ve been in jail and I’ve been in detention centers and in some ways Ithink detention centers are way worse. Noted one detainee: You don’tsee anything outside. You cannot even see the sky. At least in prison youcan go outside. You can see the sky, you can see the grass. You can see126 FROM PERSECUTION TO PRISON