From Persecution to Prison - Bellevue/NYU Program for Survivors of ...

When I am talking to you now it is as if you are shaking, (he said whilewaving his hand back and forth to express the motion he sees). WhenI’m nervous, I shiver from the inside and sweat… When I’m doingsomething and then it comes to my mind that I’m in prison and I don’tknow what will happen to me, I feel as if my heart… it starts pumpingvery fast. I feel like someone who just received a message that his relativedied…When I think of all these things I’m going through, I feel sorestless I don’t want anyone to come near me.Extreme agitation was a common symptom, echoed by an asylumseeker, who believed her psychological health had “become much worse”during her time in detention:Too much anger, I talk a lot now, [I am] agitated, nightmares are worse.I can’t remember things anymore; it’s becoming a blur. [I am] alwaysfrightened.A victim of torture described how the feeling of being trapped left himwith trouble sleeping, headaches, restlessness and recurrent nightmares.He now trembles frequently. “I never had this problem before,” he said.Many candidly described the onset of symptoms in their homelandafter torture or persecution. Yet most emphasized how detention hadaggravated the symptoms. For example, one detainee was a young womanfrom West Africa whose husband was tortured in prison as a result of hispolitical beliefs. After he fled to the US, she was raped on three occasionsby soldiers who were searching for her husband. When she came to the USto join him, she was placed in detention.Since being in detention, I think more and more about the rape. I thinkabout being with my husband and having freedom. Here I am lockedup, and every day is the same. And I’m thinking about what happenedto me…I keep seeing those people and what happened to me.After 9 months in detention she was released and allowed to apply toshare her husband’s asylee status.One subject came to the US after having been brutally raped in amakeshift cell, where he was being held by politically motivated kidnappers.After 3 months of detention, he said,I feel a relief that it’s well-lit and safe here, compared to my country. Butthis is a jail, nevertheless… [I am] worried about the term of my detention…You’ve replaced one disease with another one.Three months later, this detainee reported his mental state had significantlyworsened.It is terrible. I can’t explain why I’m detained. You are a victim [in this situation]...when I first came here I thought it’s where they protect people,66 FROM PERSECUTION TO PRISON