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From Persecution to Prison - Bellevue/NYU Program for Survivors of ...

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In the bad dream I fear if I go home <strong>to</strong> my country I will be killed.Sometimes in my dreams I see the people from my country come here <strong>to</strong>kill me. I dream that <strong>to</strong>o much… the government people, the police –they have guns. I wake up and just sit up in my bed and can’t fall asleep.This happens 2-3 times a week since I come here this never s<strong>to</strong>pped andin fact has gotten worse… I know I might still have the problems [if Iwere released] but they would be much better. This place is like a prison– makes them worse.Said another detainee:In my dreams I feel like someone is hitting me. Last time I dream I ambeing brainwashed… I feel I don’t have a future because <strong>of</strong> my situationhere. This is the same ordeal I had in my country. The only difference isthe beating.One asylum seeker reported that while in detention she experienced significantfeelings <strong>of</strong> nervousness and sadness, which had started be<strong>for</strong>e shearrived in this country, but had markedly worsened. She reported frequentlyexperiencing nightmares in which soldiers are coming after her.In the night I wake up really shaking and my heart is pounding. SometimesI don’t sleep. Sometimes when the door opens I jump. I feel likethe soldiers are coming at me.…If I wasn’t in detention, I could go <strong>for</strong> awalk, but here you are shut in with nowhere <strong>to</strong> go.Certain incidents in detention brought back disturbing memories <strong>for</strong>some detainees. For example, a struggle with <strong>of</strong>ficers left a detainee in aprison infirmary <strong>for</strong> several days.After I left the medical unit, I had nightmares that the INS prison guardswere questioning me about having <strong>to</strong> go back <strong>to</strong> my country and theygrabbed my throat again two or three times. I woke up sweating. I startedpraying, ‘Free me, God.’ I dreamt about [my country] last year, but morerecently I’ve had nightmares about my treatment in INS detention.Difficulty <strong>of</strong> ConfinementMany detained asylum seekers cited their confinement and the associatedisolation and powerlessness as contributing <strong>to</strong> their poor mental health.After finally winning asylum and being released, one detainee stated,Since I had been locked up, the stresses were <strong>to</strong>o much, with no freedom<strong>to</strong> see people and share your feelings. In INS [detention] you are lockedup <strong>for</strong> 22 hours. No chance <strong>to</strong> get away from the stress.Many detainees bemoaned not being able <strong>to</strong> escape their thoughts as aresult <strong>of</strong> this confinement.MENTAL HEALTH OF DETAINED ASYLUM SEEKERS 71

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