Surah 1-2 - YasSarNal QuR'aN

Al-Baqarah (The Cow) | THE FAMILY: THE FOUNDATION OF HUMAN SOCIETYadditional divorce if matters again go wrong. The third time a divorce takes place, itis final and irrevocable. The only way a three-times divorced couple could resume amarried relationship would be if the ex-wife married a different man whosubsequently dies or, in the normal course of events, divorces her and she completesher waiting period without the marriage being re-instated.The first divorce, as we said earlier, would put the whole relationship to the test,the second one would provide a second and final chance to reassess the situationbefore judging whether it is irreconcilable. If the marriage could be saved, well andgood. A third divorce would, however, be evidence of a total breakdown of therelationship, and that the marriage was unworkable.In any case, divorce should only be a last resort option to remedy a situationwhich could not otherwise be saved. Once divorce takes place twice, it would only befair to either maintain the relationship with honour and dignity and resume as happya life as possible, or to amicably bring it to an end without pain or acrimony. Thiswould be the third divorce, after which both man and woman are free to start afreshwith a different spouse. This is an extremely realistic approach, providing practicalsolutions. It neither denies the problem nor condemns it, nor attempts to re-createhuman nature to suit it, nor, indeed, does it ignore the problem altogether or try tosweep it under the carpet.If the marriage proved unsustainable, the woman would be entitled to everythingthat had come to be hers during the marriage including the dowry. She would nothave to reimburse the man for any upkeep or other costs he had incurred, unless itwas her decision to end the marriage, for reasons of her own which had convincedher that life with that particular husband was no longer tolerable or would drive herto transgress the limits of decency, with herself or in her relationship with herhusband. In this case the woman may ask for a divorce but would be obliged tocompensate the man for the break-up of his marriage home, through no fault of hisown, by giving him back the dowry he had paid her, or reimbursing him for all orsome of the costs he had incurred while keeping her and enabling her to preserve herhonour and dignity.These realistic and scrupulous measures take account of all possible situations andfeelings, ensuring that a wife will never have to accept an unhappy marriage underduress, and that a husband does not forgo any of his rights if his marriage breaks upthrough no fault of his own.The merits of this approach may be illustrated by an event during the ProphetMuĥammad’s lifetime. Mālik reports in al-Muwaţţa’ that one morning, at dawn, theProphet found Ĥabībah bint Sahl, wife of Thābit ibn Qays, waiting at his door. Heasked her what she wanted and she replied: “I can no longer live with Thābit ibn305