Against the Wind: Eberhard Arnold and the Bruderhof - Plough

Against the WindChapter four“The first step in Christian life is the egotism ofcomplete self­absorption in order to have one’s ownpersonality redeemed and transformed by Jesus. Butonce a person stands firmly on both feet, once a personbecomes whole, then he or she can and must love.”from Eberhard’s doctoral thesis on nietzsche.Changing CourSE38Eberhard did not wait in Breslau to receive the official refusal from the churchcouncil but left on October 2, 1908, for a two-week stay in Lichtenrade withhis uncle Ernst Ferdinand Klein. His real destination, however, was the SCM inHalle. There, his plans for baptism created only momentary ripples, and the SCMstood by their job offer. The part-time position in the SCM allowed him to regainperspective, at least for the moment, and it enabled him to continue his studieswithout his parents’ financial support. On September 23 it had been necessary forhim to tell his fiancée, “My parents refuse to pay my expenses for a new courseof study.” For a moment he even considered choosing a completely different field:“Should I study medicine?” he mused in the same letter. But he did not mentionthis again and returned to the most obvious solution: philosophy.On October 16 he arrived in Halle and placed an ad in the Generalanzeiger(the classified ads) for a room. For the time being he would board at the home ofSievert, the mine director. By now Emmy had returned from her restful getaway,and Eberhard wasted no time. He arranged to meet her that very afternoon tocelebrate their reunion and to discuss the many things they had been waiting totell each other. Above all, they wanted to prepare themselves in prayer for theurgently necessary talk with Emmy’s parents.Most likely they met with the von Hollander parents that same evening. Noneof them could have anticipated a harmonious conversation; too many spoken andunspoken reproaches stood between them. Else von Hollander, Emmy’s sister, hadbeen baptized in Halle on August 2. This had especially angered her mother who,after the fact, concocted her own theory that Emmy and Eberhard had persuadedElse to be baptized. 1 When, on September 23, Eberhard had written openly to his