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The Paris Review - Fall 2016

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He was too busy eating the cake<br />

And watching Julia Child bake<br />

A cake<br />

He was on a plantation doing<br />

What looked like a goose step<br />

He was twirling a cane<br />

He was wearing a monocle<br />

A black top hat<br />

And shiny black boots<br />

<strong>The</strong> master said, That takes the cake<br />

Some of the slaves applauded<br />

Others grumbled and called him a dandy<br />

You can sleep with my wife and daughter tonight,<br />

<strong>The</strong> master said<br />

He started running because they were as ugly<br />

Or shall we say beauty challenged as well<br />

As booty challenged<br />

Under an old Southern pine tree<br />

He ate the cake<br />

He was chillin’ with his witch<br />

Not the one with a wart on her nose<br />

And wearing a black cone-shaped hat<br />

But a centerfold witch<br />

You’ve seen her<br />

She was honored at the AVN Awards<br />

In Vegas<br />

She was riding his broomstick<br />

Hard<br />

While feeding him gingerbread<br />

<strong>The</strong> walls were caked with<br />

Gingerbread, the doors, the<br />

64

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