The New Dress Codes By: Vicki Wentz / Vicki’s <strong>Voice</strong> read a newspaper column recently that I bemoaned the…uh…slutaciousness of the clothing on young girls nowadays, and I was thrilled that someone out there is actually awake! As a teacher, I gotta tell you, folks - the outfits which our girls come to school today are so appallingly hussy-fied I sometimes don’t even know where to look. You grandmas and granddads out there: do you have ANY idea what your grandchild is wearing? As the parent of teenagers, I could always find clothes they could wear that wouldn’t give me, say, an aneurysm, and today is no different. If the that’s-all-there-is-out-there fantasy my child was spinning were really true, and I couldn’t find one single pair of jeans on this earth that weren’t too small for my daughter or too large for my son, and there were no blouses that actually had sleeves wide enough to hide a bra strap, well, I would scream loudly on a street corner for something to be done. (Or, if I could work a sewing machine without copious blood loss – and resulting togs that bring “Heidi” to mind – I’d make outfits for them myself, which they would wear under threat of being homeschooled!) But, that fantasy is not true. Some teen, one day, upon returning from the mall with an outfit her parents assumed was for her Barbie: Mom (small frown, tsk tsk): “Dear, you could get a sun burn through that blouse, and you seem to have forgotten the other half of your skirt.” Dad (spluttering, slack-jawed, face turning several shades of a chartreuse-like color): “B-b-…I-I-I-…di-di-…” Daughter (whining): “Mo-o-o-om, this is all they sell now, I swe-eear! I couldn’t find one pair of shorts that covered my rear, or a single dress that would be acceptable anywhere but Hooker Street! I’m no-oo-ot ki-i-i-idding!” And, her parents bought it, and that one day changed the course of teen history. From that day on, it became acceptable for a young girl to wear clothes that are not only too revealing, too small, and too skanky, but are also really ugly (and I am a veteran of the bellbottom, elephant pants years, so I KNOW ugly!). And for guys to wear pants that are so insanely large that they must hold onto the crotch as they walk – NOT because it’s cool, but because otherwise the pants will literally fall to their ankles. From there, we saw not just purple hair, black lipstick, and “goth” garb, but the tattoos. Not just tiny butterflies on the back of a shoulder, either. I’m talking big honking skulls, snakes and various cute little adages like, “Die, M---F---!” and “Kill the B---!” Charming. Then came piercings: one or two… or seven holes in the ear, on the nose, above the eyebrow, through the tongue (which, please, just shoot me) and beside the lip. These will come in handy when they have children, because they give babies something to look at and play with (grab…rip out) while they’re having a bottle. On the other hand, when you’re walking down the aisle on your father’s arm, girls, how great will it be to have a nose ring chained to an earring under that veil (surprise!) or to talk so funny around your tongue piercing that no one’s sure if you said: “In sickness and in health” or “Id tickbut ad id helf”? Vicki Wentz is a writer, teacher and speaker living in North Carolina. Readers may contact her - and order her new children’s book! - by visiting her website at www.vickiwentz.com. 14 October 20<strong>18</strong>
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