3.19March

Her New Windmill, My New Mistress
By: Dan Roberts / Roberts Rules
“
Don’t blame me! It was your idea.” That
was what my Rana claimed as she, oh so
sweetly smiled.
Last month, The Vegas Voice published its “Guardianship Special
Feature”; proclaiming victory in our 4+ years effort to investigate,
clean-up and ultimately reform this scandal. I slowly gazed into the
political editor’s eyes, gently held her hand and lovingly suggested that
it might be time for Don(na) Quixote to “look for and start chasing
another windmill.”
I really meant committing herself into making home-cooked meals.
But after much pillow talk discussions, she decided to “throw her
hat into the ring” for the Board of Directors in our Sun City Anthem
community.
“Are you out of your mind?” I raised my voice in response. But as
only my Rana can, she rattled off the various reasons why she “had to
run.”
Make no mistake, I’m the first to claim that she’s crazy. But I also
thought she was insane over the guardianship problem and look what
she did in that regard. Only difference this time is that while I will of
course support her, she will chase that windmill without her live-in
“Sancho Panza.”
No need for this publisher to list her issues and causes to make SCA
a better place to live. My Ladylove is more than capable in doing that
herself.
Now I know what you’re thinking. How is yours truly going to
spend his days and evenings without my PILL (partner in love & life)
constantly by his side? After pushing the hamster in my brain to spin
that little wheel to the point of exhaustion, I came up with a fantastic
answer.
I’m taking a mistress.
No kidding, a new unconditional love for me. Her name is Sam. Last
name, Sung. And even Rana admits she has quite the body.
Sam Sung is an 82 inch 4k UHD QLED LCD TV. Truth be told, I still
don’t know what all that means, but when she’s “on” I can stare at her
all day.
And to add to my macho fantasy becoming reality, Sam has a
family member more than willing to make it a threesome during the
upcoming Golden Knights hockey playoffs and major league baseball
season – Cousin Vizio.
Cousin Vizio is a 5.1.2 home theater sound system with Dolby Atmos.
I don’t know what this means either but I can listen to her for hours.
Her measurements include a 36 inch sound bar, two upward firing
speakers, six inch wireless subwoofer and two rear surround speakers.
Talk about your male chauvinistic dreams coming true!
Once again and as always, I will need our Vegas Voice Project
Director, Sir 5B (Bronx brother, best buddy Bill) Caserta to very, very
slowly teach me how to work the remotes so I don’t break anything.
However sooner or later, and definitely before the football season kicksoff,
I’ll get the hang of it.
While I thank readers for your concerns about Rana leaving me due to
her (assuming she wins the election) endless duties and responsibilities
to improve residents’ lives, between all the sports, Netflix and that
Amazon stick, I’ll be fine.
So as she returns the never ending phone calls, answers emails and
participates in monthly Board meetings, you’ll happily find me on my
big-butt recliner selecting that evening’s take-out food… especially if
they deliver.
Run Rana run!
What the….
Our Las Vegas Valley received a rare surprise last month – snow!
Unlike my former New York home town, it was all gone by midafternoon.
Best of all - no shoveling required.
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