Happiful December 2019

• Emotional loneliness
This can be one of the more
difficult types of loneliness
to understand, as emotional
loneliness comes from
within. Your feelings are not
necessarily the result of losing
someone, or moving – it’s not as
circumstantial as that. One way
to think of it is that something is
missing from your life – rather
than missing something you once
had. Perhaps you are craving new
friendships rather than longing
for old ones.
• Chronic loneliness
Chronic loneliness is often a
by-product of circumstance,
although unlike situational
loneliness it can go on for so
long that it almost becomes a
way of life. As a result, chronic
loneliness, more than any
other type, is closely linked
with mental ill-health and
unhappiness. It’s associated with
depression, sleep problems and
stress, and is thought to be as
harmful to our health as smoking
15 cigarettes a day.
HOW CAN WE OVERCOME
LONELINESS?
Experiencing loneliness can be a
very isolating time. It can lead to a
sense of ‘forgetting’ what we used
to enjoy; forgetting our goals and
not finding meaning in what we
used to find meaningful before.
And it can become a vicious cycle,
particularly where your mental
health is concerned.
You may feel there’s nowhere to
turn, or too scared to seek help.
But there are things we can do to
reclaim our sense of connection.
Here, psychotherapist Brian
shares some simple ways to
combat loneliness.
1. Fight negative feelings with a
positive engagement. This could
be as easy as smiling and saying
hello to someone you pass
on the street – a simple act of
kindness can boost endorphins,
raise morale, and break the
loneliness cycle.
2. Be curious and ask questions.
This can be helpful if you find
small talk difficult, or feel
unable to make connections
easily. Strive for short
conversations that increase
involvement and happiness.
3. Ditch the technology. Embrace
the world around you through
practising mindfulness or
volunteering.
4. Social media is OK in
moderation, but face-to-face
interaction is more enriching.
Going out and meeting
people can create a sense of
commonality.
5. Make positive memories by
doing memorable things and
discovering new places. Why
not make the trip to see a friend
you haven’t seen for a while?
Remember, loneliness is a feeling,
not a permanent fixture in your
life. Whether you feel lonely
occasionally, have been feeling
alone for a while, or it’s been
present for a long time, there are
steps you can take to increase your
sense of connection with others.
Brian Turner is a psychotherapist
and hypnotherapist, who specialises
in providing the best therapeutic care
for anxiety-based conditions. You can
find Brian and more information on
counselling-directory.org.uk