Happiful December 2019

1 EMBRACE YOUR ‘GOOD DAYS’
Everyone has good days and bad
days. When living with mental
illness however, the better days
can seem fleeting. When I have
that inkling of stability, I embrace
it. That party I was invited to a
couple of weeks ago that I was
going to turn down, I’ll go to. That
coffee date I tentatively wrote
in my diary, I won’t think twice
about not going. Socialising is an
important part of maintaining a
healthy mind, so I see it as part
of managing my mental illness.
When you’re in the midst of a
particularly bad day, you can look
back at those good days and know
they will come back again. Write
down the good things you did that
day and put them in a jar. When
you need to, pick a note from the
jar and read it. This will remind
you of what you are capable of and
can look forward to when you’re
feeling well again.
2 KNOW YOUR LIMITS
Understanding your limits is
an important part of managing
mental illness. If you know coffee
makes you anxious, or alcohol
disrupts your medication, stick
with a soft drink. And while we
should make the most of the good
days, over-estimating how much
we can do can cause problems
later on. Fitting everything in, and
trying to please everyone, can be
draining, so I make sure I schedule
rest days. Plus, enjoying yourself
doesn’t always mean going out – it
can be as simple as snuggling on
the sofa watching your favourite
film! Ultimately, it’s important
to remember that your health is
worth far more than trying to do
too much.
3 LET GO OF THE GUILT
Guilt is synonymous with mental
ill-health. It can be a tough habit to
break, because it’s so intertwined
with mental illness. I’ve realised
that I need to allow myself to enjoy
life, when I can. Just because I live
with mental illness, it doesn’t mean
I have to act as if I’m miserable
every single day. Give yourself a
break – mental illness is hard work
and you deserve to enjoy yourself.
Talking through feelings of guilt,
either with close friends or family,
a therapist or doctor, can help you
understand this negative thinking.
If this is particularly difficult for
you, you might want to explore
cognitive behavioural therapy
(CBT), which challenges negative
ways of thinking.
4 LEAN ON YOUR FRIENDS
Lean on your ‘go-to’ friends. That
small, core group of people that
you can talk to easily. They’ll know
you well and understand that
sometimes you have to cancel, but
other times you’re chatty and happy.
I’ve learned that there is a small
group of people in my life that I
can trust implicitly. I’ve explained
my feelings of guilt to them, and
how I worry they’ll think less of
me if I go out. I’ve told them that
my health comes first, and that
sometimes I need to limit what I
do to stay healthy. If they’re true
friends, they will understand and
support you through the good days,
and the bad.
Katie Conibear is a freelance writer,
focusing on mental health. She blogs
at stumblingmind.com and has a
podcast, ‘A Life Lived Vividly’, with
a focus on hearing voices.