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Cape May Wicker Two locations open seven days 9 to 5 1930 Route 9, Clermont | 609-624-3031 203 Sunset Boulevard, West Cape May | 609- 884-1849 30% off all 30” lighted wreaths & 9’ garlands Clear and multi-color in stock Page 34 EXIT ZERO November 5, 2020 (regular price $29.99) capemaywicker.net
I do love a bath. The thought came to me the other night as Kitchener and I reenacted the Battle of Jutland in the tub. I had just scored a direct hit on Derff linger and was signaling to Admiral Young Albert (commanding my reserves from the plug end). Through the steam and smoke, I could see Kitchener’s red face and wide mustache, and around the edge of the bath, the rest of the household staff, cheering on whichever side their family lineage demanded. I should mention, in case you are picturing us in what might be considered cramped and strange posture, that the tub measures 15 feet in diameter and reaches a depth of a fathom near the plug. Normally I occupy it alone, save for a lifeguard and a personal retainer — more than one D’Catur ancestor has been found f loating face down in their bath over the years. Most times overindulgence was the culprit, though assassination is not unknown, so the smarter D’Catur heirs have all their staff watching each other. I have, as an added precaution, a Scuba tank and f lippers concealed under a The Old Fogey Ah, those good old Cape May days... by Jackson D’Catur secret panel in the shallow end, and the superwide drain is JUST able to accommodate a man of slim hip such as myself. My faithful manservant, Kitchener, loves our naval reenactments, though more than once I have caught him aiming at me, rather than my f leet — we use live ammunition, and a broadside could take a chap’s eye out, and I will not go into details as to the damage a stray underwater torpedo can inf lict. Mostly, though, I simply soak and think: most of my truly great ideas have come to me in that tub, and I confess some brilliant but ill-conceived ones — scientific study has shown that after exactly 57 minutes in water, not only do a person’s fingers go all wrinkly, but one’s head becomes porous and water plus whatever bubble bath solution one is using seeps in, clouding one’s mental processes. My scheme to make Cape May the world center for rescue apes from TV shows and movies, for example, was compassionate and genius. In practice, 500 neurotic monkeys in little waistcoats riding around town on tricycles was less tranquil than hoped for. On THAT occasion I had to hide under the bathwater breathing from a straw until my staff drove them off with flamethrowers and bananas. And once in a long while I host a bath party: I shall say no more about that, for fear of embarrassing many of you by name. Suffice of to say, if you scent lavender and see a loved one’s hair looking freshly washed, then they have attended. The scamps. November 5, 2020 EXIT ZERO Page 35
Page 1 and 2: EXIT ZERO cape may’s peppy period
Page 3 and 4: 10/31: Halloween Party At Nauti Spi
Page 5 and 6: A Cape May Classic since 1926 Satur
Page 7 and 8: The Best Holiday Dinner begins at G
Page 9 and 10: November 5, 2020 EXIT ZERO Page 9
Page 11 and 12: 10/31: Halloween Night At Exit Zero
Page 13 and 14: Romantic Seaside Getaway 9 Luxr Gue
Page 15 and 16: 10/31: Halloween Party At Cape May
Page 19 and 20: Undertow Terry O’Brien’s legend
Page 23 and 24: unch sat & sun 11-2 outdoor dining
Page 29 and 30: The Theater Column By arts columnis
Page 33: A CAPE MAY TRADITION Every batch of
Page 39 and 40: The Activity Column Catherine Dugan
Page 41 and 42: 10/24: Charles Antinori’s Hallowe
Page 43 and 44: 10/23: Haunted Corn Maze At Nauti S
Page 47 and 48: Bird Droppings Dispatches from the
Page 51 and 52: The Answer Lady invites inquiries f
Page 53 and 54: Enrich Your Life... Adopt An Animal
Page 55 and 56: Enrich Your Life... Adopt An Animal
Page 57 and 58: PROPERTY PAGES Luxurious town home
Page 59 and 60: 10/23: Ghoul Spring Village At Hist
Page 61 and 62: HOLLY STEGER Realtor Sales Associat
Page 65 and 66: 512 Washington Mall, Cape May • 6
Page 69 and 70: 107 W Grant St, W Cape May 4 Bedroo

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