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Adored by<br />

Loved by<br />

Bayshore Road) and the Bayshore and arch enemy Kurt Seer outside<br />

Dancing Granny (an older<br />

Sunset Liquors Friday night<br />

Visitors...<br />

Locals!<br />

African-American lady who after my gig. He’s out of the bar<br />

jams out with her Walkman and<br />

does not give one shit what you<br />

think). Well, today I introduce to<br />

business and into the carpentry<br />

business, so if you’re looking for<br />

a handyman, check him out. (I’ve<br />

you… the Bayshore Swerver. The<br />

Bayshore Swerver is a white dude,<br />

got a shed that needs some work.)<br />

Played my first Rusty Nail gig<br />

probably mid-30s, who pedals of the year last Sunday with Jerry<br />

New<br />

his high-handle barred bicycle Kolber. It was gross outside but<br />

Gluten-free into-and-out-of oncoming traffic nice inside. We had a request to<br />

options!<br />

in the world’s dumbest game of<br />

chicken. Meth, not even once.<br />

Also, Villas still leads the<br />

league in grown ass men pedaling<br />

bikes as their default mode<br />

of transportation. It must be the<br />

DUI capital of New Jersey.<br />

I said hello to about five people<br />

at Planet Fitness who shall<br />

remain nameless because, you<br />

play “The Wreck of the Edmund<br />

Fitzgerald” by Gordon Lightfoot.<br />

Or, as I call it, the “American Pie”<br />

of Canadian folk songs about<br />

shipwrecks.<br />

Friendly Stalkers of the Week:<br />

On Sunday we met Mark and Deb<br />

Mangan of Northeast Philly, on<br />

Tuesday we ran into them again<br />

at Exit Zero. I don’t blame them.<br />

know me, I don’t like to embarrass<br />

people, and none of them sing as often as possible? But<br />

Who wouldn’t want to hear me<br />

Open Daily 7am-2pm<br />

recognized me. Granted, seeing they were very nice and contributed<br />

me in natural light and not in<br />

a bar half-drunk on Tito’s can to the tip jar, which seemed<br />

appropriate given Mark’s 57 song<br />

Beach & Grant 609-884-3772<br />

be a jarring experience. But the requests. (Nice meeting you!)<br />

underlying point here is; I’m back Poor Unsuspecting Fool of<br />

at the gym. One whole week now.<br />

I’ve got 227 days to lose 42 lbs,<br />

or I’ll have to make good on a<br />

promise that no one wants me<br />

to make good on (singing New<br />

Year’s Eve in a thong if I don’t get<br />

under 200).<br />

RIP of the Week To: My<br />

shed. She’d been a crumbling<br />

mess for quite some time now<br />

but the 17-day nor-easter we just<br />

endured was too much to withstand<br />

and her door was literally<br />

blown off, along with part of a<br />

wall. And most of her guts. My<br />

lawnmower blade is going to take<br />

a beating this week…<br />

Which reminds me; last week<br />

I picked up a Kobalt battery-powered<br />

hedge clipper to go along<br />

with my Kobalt lawn mower<br />

and weed whacker. You can ask<br />

my son Owen, I had about a<br />

five-minute staring contest with<br />

the chainsaw before leaving with<br />

the clippers. So my chances of<br />

the Week: Some poor soul asked<br />

my Tuesday night wing man,<br />

Charlie “Cosmic Charlie” Wigo if<br />

he knew any Pink Floyd. Charlie<br />

scoffed, played 45 minutes of<br />

Pink Floyd songs, put his lips on<br />

the mic and answered, “Yes.”<br />

I watched the first season of<br />

Kevin Can Fxck Himself on AMC<br />

(we’re paying for the AMC app<br />

for as long as it takes Better Call<br />

Saul to wrap up, which is going<br />

on a break after its mid-season<br />

finale next week and, pardon my<br />

rant, but when did mid-season<br />

finales even become a thing?<br />

I remember the good old days<br />

when a show was on for 22 weeks<br />

and then it wasn’t, now excuse<br />

me while I shake my fist at this<br />

cloud) and it’s pretty good and<br />

uses an idea I’d been trying to sell<br />

for 20 years; the comedy scenes<br />

are filmed like a sitcom, the dramatic<br />

scenes are shot on film. If I<br />

could get one person to listen to<br />

accidentally maiming myself or me one time I could make a lot<br />

Open Daily 10am-10pm<br />

losing a limb with a chainsaw of money.<br />

Sunset & Broadway l 609-435-5052 remain at zero. For now.<br />

’Til next week, don’t get<br />

Ran into my good friend caught in The Undertow.<br />

Page 20 EXIT ZERO May 19, 2022 May 19, 2022 EXIT ZERO Page 21

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