JulyEdition

Celebrating the
4th of July
By: Mike Murphy / Social Insecurity
Surviving the 4th of July as a kid was a challenge
I can tell it’s July without glancing at the
calendar because it’s so hot that my dog turns the fan onto herself every
time I leave the room to refill my ice cream cone. Around the 4th is
when folks of my generation reminisce about how much hotter it was
when we were kids.
But the truth is it just seemed hotter because all we had back then to
cool the house were those fans with three black steel blades protected
by a black steel cage which we kids were constantly trying to stick our
fingers through to “see what will happen.”
That’s why so many of my peers now must scratch their nose with
their pinkie.
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The 4th of July always brings back fond childhood memories of near
K
disasters involving sparkler sword fights and firecrackers blowing tin
cans sky high just as I bent over them to check the fuse.
Along with fireworks, there was the obligatory 4th of July picnic that
one had to attend as a kid, the one where Uncle Marv thought it was
a barrel of laughs to throw lit firecrackers at the children and dogs
creating a cacophony of screaming kids and howling mutts.
Of course, you just couldn’t have a picnic without corn-on-the-cob,
the only vegetable which remains completely lodged between your
teeth after you’ve finished eating it, so that when you smile you look
like you just stepped off the set of “Hee-Haw.”
After eating, someone would spontaneously organize a volleyball
game which goes well until some young stud teenager rockets a spike
directly into the face of Cousin Matilda who was just an innocent
bystander sipping on her iced tea and listening to her newfangled
transistor radio which ends up lying on the ground in two pieces right
beside her who is out cold.
Ah, yes, celebrating the 4th of July today just isn’t the same as it was
during my childhood - and tonight I think I’ll go light a sparkler to
celebrate that fact.
Mike Murphy is a retired teacher/coach. His book of humorous
articles titled “Tortoise Crossing - Expect Long Delays” is available
on amazon.com.
CY
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