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6 A Letter to My Boss By: Gayla Kalp / Life is Laughter To Whom it May Concern: I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me very well and given me benefits beyond belief. I have 3 to 4 months off per year, and a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die and then pay my estate one year’s salary death bonus and then continue to pay my spouse my salary with increases until she or he dies along with a health plan that most people can only dream of having. Despite this, I plan to take the next 12 to 18 months to find a new position. During this time, I will show up for work when it is convenient for me. In addition, I fully expect to draw my full salary and all the other perks associated with my current job. And yes, if my search for this new job proves fruitless, I will be coming back with no loss in pay or status. Before you say anything, remember that you have no choice in this matter. I can, and I will do this. Sincerely, Every Member of Congress running for Re-Election Gayla is a speaker, author, psychologist and humorist. She also happens to be Ms. Sr. California, Nevada and Universe England. July 2022 You Gotta Laugh By: Bill Caserta / Bill’s Blurbs Inflation Is Now So Bad: 1. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. 2. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf. 3. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. 4. I saw a Mormon with only one wife. 5. McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer. 6. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America. 7. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names. 8. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico. 9. A picture is now only worth 200 words. 10. When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room. And: Called to get Blue Book value on my car. They asked if my gas tank was full or empty. Random Thoughts: 1. Dating a skinny girl was fun until I hit 110 on the highway and she blew out the window like a napkin. 2. I don’t do drugs and I don’t drink. At my age, I can get the same effect by standing up too fast. 3. How do people go to sleep as soon as they close their eyes? It takes me 3 hours, 11 pillow flips, 7 different positions and 2 trips to the bathroom. 4. I’ve learned that a good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking. 5. When I was young, I was poor. But after years of hard work, I am no longer young. And finally: I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, my Social Security and retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Afghanistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
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