Welcome to The Club v3.4 Fall 2023

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Welcome to ... THE Club Don’t let old age get you down - it’s too hard to get back up! SARNIA 519-337-3713 OIL SPRINGS 519-834-2833 Welcome to ... FALL 2023 THE WALK OF DOWNTOWN PETROLIA Petrolia’s Luxury Downtown Development 395 FLETCHER ST. • PETROLIA 226-738-0665 • WWW.BLACKGOLD.BEER • AUTO • HOME • FARM • TENANTS • COMMERCIAL 1-800-265-7506 • www.cam-ron.ca HOGAN P•H•A•R•M•A•C•Y Full Service Pharmacy Full Service Cosmetic Department Full Service Home Health Care Dept. Wednesday is Senior’s Day ~ 20% OFF* for Customers 60+ Beautiful Gift Shop • Wedding • Birthday • Baby • Home Decor Enjoy our Holiday Events! ! Customer Appreciation Week: Nov. 6-11 1 Kick off to Christmas Event: Nov. 14 Cosmetics Supreme Sparkle Event: Nov. 28 LADIES NIGHT - All Day/All-Night Event: Dec. 5 MEN'S NIGHT - All Day/All-Night Event: Dec. 12 Last Minute Christmas Event: Dec. 19 *SOME EXCLUSIONS MAY APPLY, PLEASE SEE STORE FOR DETAILS 4177 Petrolia Line, Petrolia • (519) 882-1840 Mon-Fri 9-9, Sat 9-6, Sun10-5 Puzzle Solution Puzzle Solution The Walk is Petrolia’s only luxury apartment project in the downtown core. Within walking distance to the grocery store, hospital, pharmacies and more, the location is ideal for adopting Petrolia’s trendy downtown lifestyle. 519-882-3157 www.albanyretirementvillage.com/the-walk The Wisdom of... Yogi Berra (Part 1) For The Club Fall 2023 CROSSWORD on page 32 For The Club Fall 2023 SUDOKU on page 22 If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else. When you come to a fork in the road, take it. You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six. You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there. I wish I had an answer to that because I'm tired of answering that question. Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical. A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. The future ain't what it used to be. You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours. It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much. You can observe a lot by watching. In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. P A G E 10 Superstitions... If the first calf born during the winter is white, the winter will be a bad one.
Maybe we should stop it with the elderly jokes. They’re getting old. Welcome to ... THE Club • Fresh Produce • Fresh Meat • Party Trays • Bakery • Deli • Bulk Food • Seasonal Merchandise • Flower Market Established in 1978, Lambton Pharmacy continues to provide caring, professional pharmacy services to residents of the beautiful town of Petrolia and Lambton County. Looking for PRIVATE IN-HOME PHYSIOTHERAPY? Mobility Works Physio Yoga will come to you! 4130 Glenview Rd, Unit 2, Petrolia 519-882-0650 Balance Training, Falls Prevenon, Funconal Strength, Yoga, Nordic Pole Walking, and more! Every Tuesday is SENIORS DISCOUNT DAY 10% OFF for age 60 and over (must tell cashier) Doesn’t apply to tobacco, lottery or gift cards Use our easy ONLINE SHOPPING SERVICE www.yourindependentgrocer.ca We’ll bring your groceries to your car! 4136 Petrolia Line, Petrolia • 519-882-2211 www.yourindependentgrocer.ca Danielle Edgar, B.Sc., PharmD Pharmacist Monday–Friday 9–6 Saturday 9–12 Allow ourselves to complain of nothing, not even the weather. Never picture ourselves in any circumstances in which we are not. Never compare our lot with that of another. Never allow ourselves to wish that this or that had been otherwise. Never dwell on tomorrow; remember, that is not yet ours. MOBILITY WORKS phy s i o y oga MOVE. FEEL. LIVE. Book IN-HOME Physiotherapy or Private Yoga at: www.mwphysioyoga.com Covered under most Extended Health Benefits. Kelly-Lynn Musico REGISTERED PHYSIOTHERAPIST REGISTERED YOGA TEACHER Contact Kelly-Lynn at 519.312.6122 or mwphysioyoga@outlook.com University Philosophy 101 taught me one very important lesson. 8 am Monday morning is way too early to be subjected to University Philosophy 101. The only other thing I gleaned from that “morning after” class was if you missed any of them (which was fairly common at that hour and day), you could borrow notes from students who took that class up to 30 years ago and simply modernize a couple of the “current” analogies. The curriculum never ever changed since the ancient Greeks first fashioned it out of their lofty ideals and deep bath tubs. Those guys would probably do well in today’s society, but unfortunately they would likely be pontificating these deep thoughts from beneath a paper hat. I’m sure if Plato were alive today, many of us would be more than a little surprised! Here in what we like to consider modern day civilization, we tend to remember our silver screened philosophers like Arsenio Hall, who used to scratch his chin and ponder out loud “Hmmm?” Jerry Seinfeld would start out many a routine with “Why is it that..?” And another great thinker, George Carlin, even philosophized about his never ending name: “Ge Or Ge Or Ge Or Ge” Still, with my modest B- in that early morning philosophy class, I sometimes find myself in that curled up “Thinker” pose with conundrums that would surely send Nietzsche searching for God. I know I’ve stayed up all night wondering where the sun went after it sunk into the horizon until, finally, it “dawned” on me. And I’ve spent the better part of an eternity rounding off infinity in more than one math class. But you will have to agree that some of these musings constitute earthshattering morality. I mean does killing time actually harm eternity? How much deeper would the oceans be if sponges didn’t grow there? And why is it that almost every famous landmark in the world is located right next to a souvenir shop? Others queries are closer to home, such as: How come the label always falls off my tube of Krazy Glue, yet glue doesn’t stick to the inside of the glue bottle? And if you wanted to recycle your blue box, what would you put it in? Further, when they manufacture that Piece of Mind By Joan Richardson, London • From Daytripping July-Aug 2003 21st Century Philosopy: Plato vs Pluto environmentally damaging Styrofoam, how do they package it for shipment? Maybe they just cut it up into those little noodles first and save themselves a whole lot of bother? Philosophy to me has always been unintelligible answers to insoluble problems. I mean have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? What DO you call someone who hates bigots? Why have worlds never been conquered by people named Alexander the Average, Ivan the Bland or Attila the Ho Hum? And if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it fall - where are they? Of course, if you prefer not to warp, er, wrap your mind around these mind-bending conundrums, you might consider the more pedantic second thoughts like: What colour do Smurfs turn when you choke them?; or Why don’t sheep shrink when they get wet?; or How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?; and What, exactly is the speed of dark? My Dad used to say “Any philosophy that can be put into a nutshell, belongs there.” But then Willie Nelson must have added “Anything that is too stupid to be discussed intelligently must be sung.” Personally, I’ve always had more trouble with physics class and the concept of time, than anything that philosophy professor doled out year after year after year. In light of the fact that I can receive e-mail from a pal in Australia and answer it a full fifteen hours before it is or was or is about to be sent - see? I told you it’s a problem for me. So, if I go to all the trouble of saving time, when do I actually get it back, and does it accumulate any interest in the interim? If one day we end up travelling at the speed of light, will the luggage handlers then have to lose our baggage in advance? And exactly how many weeks are there in a light year? Boggles the mind, doesn’t it? Well, all this weighty pondering is starting to tax my little blonde-covered airhead, so I’d best go lie down, but I shall leave you with a quote from yet another deep philosophical (and somewhat tattered) T-shirt. The Big Questions: 1) Know thyself (Socrates); 2) To thine own self be true (Shakespeare); 3) Never wash whites with colours (Mom). FALL 2023 Superstitions... If your cheeks suddenly feel on fire, someone is talking about you. P A G E 11
Page 1 and 2: Welcome to ... THE A GUIDE TO BEING
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Page 39 and 40: Retirement To-Do List: 1) Wake Up..

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