9781945186240

Even if cowardice has kept you from them. Or fear of what people
would say. Or some equally bad reason.
v. That you don’t know for sure it is a mistake. A lot of things are means
to some other end. You have to know an awful lot before you can judge
other people’s actions with real understanding.
vi. When you lose your temper, or even feel irritated: that human life is
very short. Before long all of us will be laid out side by side.
vii. That it’s not what they do that bothers us: that’s a problem for their
minds, not ours. It’s our own misperceptions. Discard them. Be willing to
give up thinking of this as a catastrophe . . . and your anger is gone. How do
you do that? By recognizing that you’ve suffered no disgrace. Unless
disgrace is the only thing that can hurt you, you’re doomed to commit
innumerable offenses—to become a thief, or heaven only knows what else.
viii. How much more damage anger and grief do than the things that
cause them.
ix. That kindness is invincible, provided it’s sincere—not ironic or an
act. What can even the most vicious person do if you keep treating him with
kindness and gently set him straight—if you get the chance—correcting
him cheerfully at the exact moment that he’s trying to do you harm. “No,
no, my friend. That isn’t what we’re here for. It isn’t me who’s harmed by
that. It’s you.” And show him, gently and without pointing fingers, that it’s
so. That bees don’t behave like this—or any other animals with a sense of
community. Don’t do it sardonically or meanly, but affectionately—with no
hatred in your heart. And not ex cathedra or to impress third parties, but
speaking directly. Even if there are other people around.
Keep these nine points in mind, like gifts from the nine Muses, and start
becoming a human being. Now and for the rest of your life.
And along with not getting angry at others, try not to pander either. Both
are forms of selfishness; both of them will do you harm. When you start to
lose your temper, remember: There’s nothing manly about rage. It’s
courtesy and kindness that define a human being—and a man. That’s who
possesses strength and nerves and guts, not the angry whiners. To react like
that brings you closer to impassivity—and so to strength. Pain is the
opposite of strength, and so is anger. Both are things we suffer from, and
yield to.
. . . and one more thought, from Apollo: