Горизонт N4/833

RUSSIAN DENVER
Stacey Mann
Colorado Russian Newspaper published in English 720-436-7613 www.gorizont.com/rd
How to Read Modern Day Body Language
Back in the day of wagons and
family owned farms, reading
body language was simply a matter
of watching people’s faces,
hands, legs, and arms. If someone
frowned, they were probably
sad or upset. If they laughed,
they were probably amused and
happy. With modern technology,
new accessories, and hightech
inventions, the body has
been extended to include fit-bits,
smartphones, and earbuds. The
plugged-in body causes social
problems. It is harder to read
people now that wires grow out
of their ears. If you are having
trouble knowing how to interact
with New Age Millennials, here
are a few insights into social media
behavior.
The smartphone – Android
or iPhone. If you see someone
with a Blackberry, they are generally
confused individuals and
probably bought it stolen on the
internet. Swiping a finger left or
right across the screen indicates
that they are single and looking.
Swiping a finger repeatedly right
indicates that they are desperate.
If you see someone on a bus that
is not looking at their phone,
you should get immediately off
that bus. That person is up to
no good. If someone drops their
phone in front of you, you should
not touch it. Instead, you should
suggest a guy who can do repairs
for $100. If someone is walking
towards you on the sidewalk and
texting, you should slowly drift
into their path until they are
startled at the sight of your feet.
If the soul mate you have never
7
met is passing by you and looking
at their phone, you should
slap the phone out of their hand,
and then smile charmingly.
Earbuds – If the person is
wearing two earbuds and nodding
their heads, they are either
listening to some sick tunes or
are in agreement with an intellectual
podcast. If the person is
wearing one earbud, if you want
to say hello, you must only approach
them from one side. If
you are talking to a person and
they put their earbuds in, you are
terribly boring and should get
your own pair of earbuds.
FitBit – The FitBit indicates a
person who has disposable income,
lacks general motivation
to go to the gym, and is interested
in knowing the exact moment
their heart explodes.
Apple Watch – The person
who wears the Apple Watch is
unable to sleep without receiving
text messages.
Watch people to see how frequently
they touch their devices
just to be reminded that they
are there. I know with utmost
certainty that if I do not unlock
my phone every two minutes, I
will miss out on some important
information about my Twitter
account. What would happen
if we all switched off from time
to time? Would I have to look
people in the eye? Maybe instead
of happy emojis, we would
just send pictures with our face.
These are called smiles.
Do Americans Really Want Elmer J. Fudd or Cruella de Vil as President?
Are Donald and Hillary the Best 153 Million Registered Voters Can Produce?
BY HOWARD BARBANEL
In the award winning musical
Fiddler on the Roof the main
character is «Tevya The Milkman.»
In today’s socio-economic
terms you’d probably call him a
struggling small businessman.
One of his biggest wishes is to
«be a wealthy man,» so much
so that one of the show’s main
songs is entitled «If I Were a Rich
Man.» (A riff on this song was
done in 2004 by Gwen Stefani
called «Rich Girl.»)
One of the key aspects of Tevya’s
song is that if he were in
fact a rich man, he would secure
prime seating at his local house
of worship and in addition everyone
would besiege him with
questions and for his advice,
«problems that would cross a
rabbi’s eyes» because «when
you’re rich they think you really
know.»
Not much has changed in
human nature since the lyrics
of that song were written in
1964 because so many people in
this country are in thrall in this
presidential election cycle to rich
people who think they really
know.
Democratic presidential candidate
Senator Bernie Sanders
fulminates against the «billionaires
who’ve rigged the system»
and how the rich control our
economy, the electoral process
and the country. He’s calling for a
«revolution» on behalf of the Average
Joe which can sound pretty
radical. Even though I disagree
with most of Sanders’ policies
and positions, he’s really not far
off the mark about the affluent
(which can also mean business
or special interests) often controlling
politics, especially on the
national level. Interestingly, most
Americans don’t see this as any
kind of a problem.
Many of the very top candidates
(and some not doing well
in the polls) do in fact come
from either the Patrician or Oligarch
class. A reason for that is
when you don’t have to worry
about putting bread on the table
or sweating out a monthly mortgage
you have a lot of free time to
pursue politics. Someone punching
a clock every day where
their presence would be missed
at their desk or on the loading
dock? Not so possible.
On the Republican side, the
man leading all the polls is an actual
billionaire who professes no
end of braggadocio about it and
uses it as his main qualification
to lead the county despite not an
hour of experience in elective office
or the military. Millions of
Americans flock to him because
he has nothing whatsoever to
lose by saying the most outlandish
things that can be highly
entertaining and is a vicarious
release of voters’ powerlessness,
anger and frustration. Because
he has «F.U. Money» he’s insulated
from the ramifications of
his words and because even if he
loses he’ll still be Donald Trump
why not drop malicious gossip
bombs hither and yon? What
can anyone do to him?
The Wall Street Journal on
January 15 th reported on the
sale of a penthouse Mr. Trump
owns personally in his Trump
Cartoon characters Elmer J. Fudd (top) and Cruella de Vil
Park Avenue condo building
in Manhattan for $21 million
the week prior. He sold another
unit recently for $14 million
and he’s got another apartment
on the market for $35 million.
Mr. Trump’s daughter Ivanka in
replying to a question whether
Mr. Trump’s increased visibility
because of the presidential campaign
has had any effect on these
sales said «the [Trump] brand
has never been stronger.» Nothing
to lose. Meanwhile, more
worthy and more qualified candidates
languish at the bottom of
the polls while Mr. Trump entertains
himself, the media and the
country.
On the Democratic side, the
woman leading all the polls has
earned vast sums of money from
accepting huge speaking and
consulting fees from giant corporations
and from enormous
book advances. She and her
husband have pulled in nearly
$230 million since 2001. Talk
about profiting from public service.
(http://www.forbes.com/
sites/danalexander/2015/10/13/
how-the-clintons-mademore-than-230-millionafter-leaving-the-whitehouse/#55ae31f6791e)
Having
been Secretary of State bolstered
the Clinton, Inc. brand and now
being a top candidate hasn’t
slowed down the flow of cash to
her and her husband. If she wins
the presidency the money will literally
be Mount Gushmore. Mrs.
Clinton because of her wealth,
fame and privilege also is quite
insulated from reality which is
why she doesn’t see it as any kind
of problem whatsoever that she
had her own private hackable
email server while working at
Foggy Bottom in total violation
of the laws for public officials
handling sensitive and national
security matters.
Like Mr. Trump, Mrs. Clinton
hasn’t driven herself to work or
to the market in years. They both
have retinues of aides and staffers
to fill their every need and
cater to their every whim. How
can either of these two people
ever hope to really understand
the needs, thoughts and hopes
of John and Jane Q. Public? Remember
when George Bush the
Elder didn’t know what a supermarket
checkout scanner was?
The American people rightly
intuited that he hadn’t a clue
about their daily lives. Why then
are Americans flocking to these
same out of touch flush types
now?
Rumored to be mulling an independent
entry into the presidential
race is former New York
City Mayor Michael Bloomberg
– another billionaire – which
would give American voters the
choice between rich, richer and
richest.
The population of the US
is approximately 318 million
according to the US Census
Bureau. Roughly 153 million
Americans are registered to
vote (although 215 million are
eligible). Of that figure 32 percent
are registered Democrats,
23 percent as Republicans and
39 percent are Independents.
Out of 153 million American
voters the best people we can
produce from that vast polity
to lead this country are Donald
Trump and Hillary Clinton?
What does this say about the
sad state of public life in this
country? Why do we want to be
led by Elmer J. Fudd or Cruella
de Vil?
I may disagree with Bernie
Sanders about healthcare, taxation
and foreign policy but he’s
right that the people need to
take back the political process so
that candidates of greater quality
from both parties will have a serious
shot at leadership.