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the tiled den. Graciously accept membership into this<br />

elite collective and commit yourself to this lifestyle.<br />

The Kama Pootra is a lifelong endeavor; it will stay<br />

with you until your last breath. Remember that one must<br />

poop to live. As Cartesian philosophy teaches, if you<br />

poop, then you must exist.* Practice these techniques<br />

until they are ingested deep within your soul.<br />

Bathroom time is precious. Poop every time as if it<br />

were your last.<br />

*“Je poop donc je suis” or “I poop therefore I am,” René Descartes,<br />

Discourse on the Method (1637)<br />

114

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