kama-pootra

Heroin
(Mr. Brownstone)
Mixing drugs and pooping is living dangerously on the
edge of the seat. This toilet thrill ride reached epidemic
levels among Scottish youths in the early 1990s, which
was later depicted in a critically acclaimed film. The
following monologue served as the protagonist’s call
for understanding that pooping has its limits: “Choose
poop. Choose a fine porcelain toilet. Choose a four bathroom
suburban house in a sleepy suburban cul-de-sac.
Choose four-ply toilet paper with a quaint geometric
pattern. Choose a high-powered bidet with adjustable
water temperature. Choose a nine-to-five job with hourlong
bathroom breaks. Choose a wife who understands
pooping is more important to you than she can ever be.
Choose growing old and losing the bodily control you
spent decades mastering. Choose poop.”
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