kama-pootra

Missionary Position
Missionaries came to the New World with a royal
mandate to teach civility, religion, and bathroom etiquette.
Upon arrival, the colonists were appalled by the
barbarity of the indigenous peoples’ pooping methods,
some of which included animal sacrifices and blood
rituals. Gradually a new culture was imparted upon the
natives and the culture of savage pooping was relegated
to history books. This position took the moniker of
Missionary Position because it was the only official position
sanctioned for godliness by church authorities.
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