COLLECTION 2 - AVANT-GARDE

346 KALTBLUT
COLUMN: HERR VON KEIL SAYS
From Canada, well. It won’t hurt, I thought. And
here I am sitting, trapped in a sticky room of
some university building and have to listen to
the acoustic masturbation of this assclown.
As is often the case, one’s own romantic
wishful thinking and self image does not correspond
with disillusioning reality –and the world famous
avant-garde artist from Canada reveals himself
to be a strange man with wild, thinning hair on the
piano.
And his music, just as uncomfortable as his looks.
Insane, unmelodic beating without any slight pretence
of sense and understanding; and to this he is
throwing his grey hair mat this way and that way, in
Illustration: Tim Brackmann
“I LOVE IT MORE THAN YOU DO!”
That’s what I get from it. But it is all my own fault after all. And to know that a simple
tiny white lie wouldn’t have hurt anyone and everyone would have been happy. And
nobody can certainly blame me for a lack of good will! Yet several times I’ve been attacked:
“You HAVE to come! He is a really famous avant-garde artist. From Canada!”
Text by Magnus Von Keil www.vonkeil.com Translation by Amanda M Jansson
ecstasy, like a stray bobtail after a bath. This might
sound interesting for a moment, but after 7.5 hours
filled with this dissonant fireforce I am at my wit’s
end. It is not only a pity for the waste of my precious
time – you start feeling you’ve been cheated. How
can you demand a 5 euro ticket for this crap? Driven
by the feeling of betrayal and yawning boredom I let
my eyes scan the room for a sign of allies among the
audience. Yet there aren’t many of them here. More
like none. To compensate, there are flocks of middle
aged women, posh and all in black, in strict buns,
and fire red tight lips. They sit in rows, shut their
eyes and breathe deeply and melancholic, as soon as
the world famous avant –garde artist from Canada
swings back for the next atonal tone attack.