Articles Book III - Pg 1-117 (Adoptees) - triadoption

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'.By Roberto Plutzik
doplea in the United States
now number in the millions,
and a recent spate ol publick
ty about adoption has made
many Americans feel more at home
with the sub)ed. Still, plenty of parents
- and the children who
come who to ive wlth them -. mntlnue to
experience pmbiems for which they
lee1 unprepared. . .:. "..-..: . ~ i. '
Some live million Amerlaris arecurrently
rqllr(ered as . hacln been
adopted., acmrding to -re&! .rough
estimata horn the; Government.
Thou a& bn b no longer viewed
with t f e cu r8' dty it used to amuw, for
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tion, "Did f mme from your tummyl':
Clare's sunnesred answer ir "You came
lmm a mzher's tummy, but I didn't
become your mother until ahenvard."
Research has proven, she adds, that
"it's not always what parents say that's
mod Important In the early years but
rather thc emotional environment ahd
lone in which they sa It."
. Aher a young chid. knows he's I
adopted and is slruggling to undersand
why, Its nor uncommon for him
to &I agalnsl his ..adoptive parents.
:'Most children, birth and adopted, at
some point say they hate their parents
and are goin to run away:' Clore explains
~dds$urle Rynn, director of
,the North Amcrkan Coundl on Adop
table Children, "ll's very upsettin but
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the people who adopt and (hechildren parentsmu not overreact. instea!,
who are adopted there are sill man al what's maklng the: d~ild fca I.
issues that need to be addred .:$.. ::~:- ........
"Eve. !he adoptlon'ls yean in the
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maki the parent will be tmubled .
with quarlons of hein# a p ,~arent l 0.;) .&apt tD mnke .
or being able to love t c c lid, states . &e adopd &i[d feel
Ellen Clore, director of the nurse pndk
tionw "ID ram at tho University O! .
'
Virgi: "80 bqan studyin Ule mm -me ooergmteddve
piex I...& of adopted chi k drcn and
their parenis before she adopted a ......
child herself. She believes that Mlcr .. . . . . . . . .
awareness about potential pltlails Uiually ihc child wnnl's reassurance.
among people who are going to adopt 7hc parents can say, 'You ore my child,
on kter prepare ihem,br lhe ex-. I am your parenl. M5 . . work . . out the
perience ol parenthood .?.- . - . pmblm."! .........., .;: ,..: - .. ?.
Like all new parents, Individuals . A% dddhood pmgresw, other
ivho a& expalenceleelhgrofdreu hurdiw remaln for parents and child.
and ins f qwq in ihelr new maternal In an elfort to make thc adopt& chlld
and paternal mla, ar well ar hurdles feel wanted - qwciatly in a family
more wrticular to lhelr situations. wl~crc U~erc are also birth children
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~n; ol the most troubluome issuer some parznts CM bmme overpmtec
for menls durln~ the child's early I live of the adopted lamily memhr. ib 11
ear; is how and ihen to tdl the chiid lng XI will make him lee1 that much
ie Is adopted andxherward, how to morc diltcrent, Clorc sap. ..
wpc wlth his pnuibie feelingsol mnfw .: In the teen years, most parents lortily
sion and annec "I tell oarents that lhcmseives aaalnsl lhc adopted child's
bdore they ccn answer a )kun# child's
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request lor 6nuae lnformatlon about
queslons lhey mua mma to terms birth parents. Whilc Clore believes the
with their own leelinas:' Clore says. child should be encouraged to wait un
I "Do thw feel ............... threatk-ied bv kina 1 111 aher the acneral tur~%oil ol adoler II
adoptive parents7 Do they feel lealous);; rrnce to lid his birth parents, witlldisaopmval
or superiority toward the hoidln& lnlorn~atlon even bcfore this
I hlrthinoth~r
I and khcr7"
alii5c czn ur~dcimir~e the longderm
1 Clnre ........................
at- advim not to wait until a adootive relalionahlo. "More than ever 11
I child asks where he came from beiorc tl~e'~arents need io be honest With
breakinn the news " ~rin~ up the word I tl~eir child and give It~lormalion Ii they
I adootio~ so the child &.never re I know It: if they don't know, they must II
nlehber not hearing it.!' she states say so. The pirent at thlr polnl Is leek
"Before the a 015, nddrm IIIC /sue, lr~g very tt~renlened," siys Clo~e. "and
bccaur n ch f" Id nds
oarents - not .-. leachen . -~. or lricnds. Trust the child will leave are extremel~ slim. I:
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murr be prrserved:' Kids wllo hear it that ndoptive parenu arc the tnie pzy. '
from --.- outsiden muid be devnrlatcd.
chological parents." Rynn advi~ I
In response lo n preschooler's quer I adoptive ~~rcntstoh"vcrysupportive
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. . : I! of the need for it~fonnatlor~. o~ilitv
I RM,, tr ,kc rw,,,~rb,~O prlvue rci~~lorces the child's feeling th;\l he
Ute ot Pam~s
I&- tio~lul. -. I dot.lrit belot,> . v 1:
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Al
to hear it froin I needs lo bc reminded that thect~anca I