Articles Book III - Pg 1-117 (Adoptees) - triadoption
Articles Book III - Pg 1-117 (Adoptees) - triadoption
Articles Book III - Pg 1-117 (Adoptees) - triadoption
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Arlkle .<br />
. .<br />
' .I Betly Jean Ufton ,,<br />
Why<br />
. a . ' '<br />
Dullno tho pnsl clphl monlhr. I havo ro. orlglns. Somalimos no1 knowlnp cnn soom lcw. Thclr alnllr hnvc n~ncnlo~lcnl<br />
search for their parents I<br />
akllll:<br />
celvcd hundrcds 01 lcltars Itom odoplod- unb~nrnblc. As otlo loon snld: "I hnlo bolrnp llmy keep lllos bn ndoplocs nnd nntulol<br />
and nonndoplod-tondnrs In lcaponro lo. luld.l'm no1 old Chouoh lo know:' pnrcnla wllh.lho hopo ol mnlchlnp them.<br />
my nrllclo In SCvEIlTEEII. "My Scllch lo1 Why dld IhmY ulvc ma up?<br />
Wham do Illnd?<br />
My Rools" [Match, 1@77), oboul n taen.ogn IJ's hord lo ~tndc~alond haw n molhor 'hlnny ndoplccs nto nlrnld 01 whom Ihoy'II<br />
adoplao'~ s~nrch lo, hor nnlutol molncr, cou~dglvo up hor bnby. ollen, lhn kldr lhlnk llnd~or 01 bclng lulncd nwny by lhosc lhcy<br />
Whnl clruck mn most omul (here lcllen lhc,b wns aomallilng wrong wllh I11cm. A locolo. Dul lhcy usunlly llnd a vory nlco.<br />
40s how dosporololy ndoploos ncod to lrcrlucnl quosllon: "Wos I Illaglllmnlo?" atdlnnry wornnn wAo.ls mn~rlcd nnd hnr 0<br />
,ham lhofr lcollngs and how lsolalod lhoy !lost odoplcos' nnllllnl molhor~ aro hmlly 01 hcr own. I1 the malhor Ims no1 hld.<br />
lor1 whcn llnoy don'l. For although lhn mn. yotino. unmnrrlnd womcn who could no1 don lho cnrllcr blrlh, shn moy bo glad lo<br />
@rlly spoko lcndcrly aboul lhclr odoplba p~tvldn d homo lor tholt bnblcs, who, nltct hcnr lrom lho ndoplco. Bul iI alto hns kopl<br />
pnranls, mony ol lheso lama people woro a i!alnlul doclrlon. e~rnnged lor tho bnby 1111s bnlnlul'eoctql lo~horsoll, oho's likely lo<br />
alrold lo dlscuaa thoso leollngs wilh lhom. lo, o p~ncod Wllh 0 sullablo lamlly. hcillnle end lholt.orrango n prlvnla mccl.<br />
Soma hnrd.1o.nnswc.r quosllom woro to. ,..om@<br />
P<br />
of Illo lollor wrltarr wcro lmmar. Ing. FCC molheo roluao lo moo1 lha adop.<br />
paoled In avcry lcllor, and lhcse arn tho llcp molhoro who hod roconlly olvcn up loo-only nbolrl.ono in n hundrcd.<br />
ono I'vo choson lo wrlln oboul hero. lhil I bnblos lor ndopllon. Thoy wrolo 01 tho Ulfon tho nnll rol mothor Is rcllrclnnt lo<br />
Who mrn I?<br />
n~lny, lhcy'd pono lhrounh bccnuso ol 111" rovoal \he nome~ol Iho lolhcr. And he may<br />
Evoryona nrks "Wlto Am I?",'-but pnr- lo:r lhcy loll lor lhnlr chlld. Moal hopcd bo nmblvolonl 2nbouI heallno lrom tho<br />
.lculnrfq locn.ngcrs, rlnco ndobamnco Is<br />
ndcplao. I!: ~2). 12r orsm?lc. lcrf a<br />
lha limo lor pulllnp lopclhcr an ldcntlly.<br />
linanclnl clnlm will bo mndo on him.<br />
And Ihls Is nn ospoclolly hard qwslfon 101<br />
Whnl heppnsnlhrrrbalon7<br />
odopled klds lo enswar, slncc lhoy ollcn<br />
Adoplccs whr:hnvo bc~n rounlted wilh<br />
know nolhlng oboul lholr bockground. ono or more p:+ronls soy lhlngs Pko: "I<br />
'<br />
Ono ndoploc wrolo: '.I cnn'l hslp won mqlher. Evon lholl~h I don'l know who slln leal bollor nbout mysoll." "I1 hns clwngcd<br />
dcrlnn. whon I meel somoono. If Ihls pornon Istot wllnt aho'n Ilks. I lovo her bncnuso my lllo!' "My mlrd Is now ol eaao."<br />
could bo my brolhcr or tlslor." lo. me aha's my only molhor." Olhets .I lhhk 1l'asnlp.lo nny lhol you llnd no1<br />
Even lhough ndoplcos ronlllc they oro wFled lo thank lhclr molhors lor givlno so much n pnranl ns you llnd yoursoll. 1<br />
tho sons nnd doughlorn 01 their adoplbe th~m o OtOnl lit0 wllh lholt ndopllvn wrontr. don'l know of nny odoplco who Is sorry aha<br />
,parcnls. I lhoy won1 lo, lhoy ahould bn nbln Hm do I baoln In warch7 has tearehod-no tnallcr whom she fonds.<br />
lo know who 1ho1r orlplnnl parents ara loo. k,ot mnny ronsons. Ira hnrd lo llguro ou~ Everyono need. lo know 1110 iru~h. How.<br />
Who #m they? Wl!nro lo slnrl loohlno. You cnn'l scnrch ovcr, bo pro~nrrd lor n locllng 01 loldown<br />
A lo1 ol ndoplces lhlnk oboul theft nnlurnl wllhoul a hnmo, whlch mas1 adoplous don'l nltcnmrd. Nnlurul pnrcnls nro lnvobcd in<br />
porcnls whcn lhoy look in lho mltror, won- hqo. Rocords or0 logolly sonlod in all bul lholr om<br />
llvci. They ollon lcol pullly nbool<br />
derlng whoso cycs lhoy hove, moss color Wo slolos-Alnbama nnd Knnsns-and tho ndoploc-?and ovon tho odoplivo par.<br />
01 hell, whoso noso, whoso body we. . ndopl~on opcnclos p~vo only dcscrlplions onls:And (ha odopten llnd~lhnl she has not<br />
PI Pnronls, no1 ldonl8lflng magically chsnpcd bul la sllll lhn satno<br />
Inlormollon. Many odop- pcrson wllh tho snmo problems, olthough<br />
'1 don't know any adoptee IIva paranls dcny havlnp tho iwnlon b lfikcly lo cnoblu hot lo don1<br />
101% lnlormnllon, nnd ndop wllh lhcm bcllcr.<br />
who's SOW she ~eatdwd- loon nro ofton nfrold IO nsk MOSI odoplnes do not loci thnl ihc<br />
no mafter he f i ~<br />
!I'm htll nnywny. womnn lllcy lind Is lhclr molhcr, bul rnll~cr<br />
Whcn nn ndoplcc Is n vory np~clnl lrlcnd. They olso lccl closor<br />
olghloon, a110 cnn pallllnn to lholr ndoplivn pnrcnlo becnvso lhoy<br />
All klds nl onn limo or nnolhcr prclcnd lhc courl lor llcr lccorda In tho slnlo wt~ero know lhclo nro no moro scciols.<br />
that ihcy'to ndoplnd. Ihn! ~llcfr ten1 paronla her ndopllon wns mado llnal. I1 ilne ludo* 01 courso. :n,,l every ndoplac has lo<br />
RIO roynlly mho wlll suddonlf aDPcn1 nnd lcols iho hus SllnWn "flood cnII1o;' hc will ~cnrcll lor ho* nnltrrnl palnnts, but I ballavn<br />
clnlm Ihom. Oul tho ndoplen I3 nOl ImnOln- open hor lllo. This chnnncl cnn bo rrpon you hnvo tho tlghl lo know your origins 11<br />
Ing-aim rcnlly docs havo olhor pnrcnll. nivc-and docs nOl olwnys work. Tho bcsl yo11 wnnl lo. As on0 lccn wrolo: -1 nced my<br />
And thouoh sho mny drcnm lhry hnvo royol roula Is ll~rour~h on0 01 1110 mnny odoplco poll in ordcr to linlnh gtowlng up."<br />
blood. sho nlso worrloa lhal lhey may 1101 ccnrch oloups ntound 1110 counlry: ALMA ,r,k,n ,,,en,s ..r*,r. U