Articles Book III - Pg 1-117 (Adoptees) - triadoption

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KANSAS CITY STAR*
SllNDAY
FlARCH 1, 1981
Page 34 A
I some parents find 'reunions: hard,
By Josc~h & DfcCarty Jr.
8Wlnn.l . .:
he womnn had kept the
secret locked Lnsldc lor 4U
T
years-awry from her
husband, her famUy and her
Irlends. . ..
Then one day she received r
phone call from the 48.ycnr-old
daughter ahe had rellnqulshcd
ss an Infant. The daughter was
aeeklng a reunlon.
Such reunlons can be
traumatic lor "surrender par.
enls" who may wlsh only lo lorget
thcy'dever maden mlslnke.
said-Tom_~llngkon,presldentol
the Knnsal Clly au t Adopteea,
I which helped the dnughler llnd
her mother. '
/ The orannhatlon was form.-d
lour years ngo to aid adoplees
over 21 years 01 nge in llndlng
thelr natural pnrents. 11 is one
01 55 simllar orgnnlzntlons nn.
tlonwl&. .
I Alllneton sald ihnt because of
the po~ibladevastnllng elleclr
on n nnthnl parent when a blologlcal!
ollsprln~ suddenly
showa ;up, ihe -organlzntloi~
trends relully. ,
"I, c% get sort 01 dif~lcult at
tlmes,':he snld. "We hnve toremember
thnt a nnlural mother
has the rlght to be a very prl.
.~
vale Derson. She hns the rieht to
I
be bad. A lo1 or adopteesldon't
llkc thnt. And she hns the rlght
to have re- eslabllsl~cd a llle In
whlchthlschUd does not exlst."
I
lie added, however, thnt Ule
adult seeklng hls or her blologl-
.. .. i
cd orlglru also has rlghl&U 'This judge c:n your rec.
not strlctly legal rlghls, at least ords and all 01 these clerks can
humanrlghts; . ,. ':.. . ..
sce your records, but you can't
"These surrender ~nrents dld' - sec your own recordi becawn
make a mktake. the); dld have a we don't thlnk you can handle,
chlld and they dld algn relln. It."hc . . . . ssld.
-. -.
aubhment papers." Alllngton Nllngton. then 3 yearb old,
dald. "These pbrenls may have and hb stater and brother. Sand
pald a prlce lor that, or they 7, were found abandoned In a
ma not h~ve.
bnrn ~ ~ ln ..~ Tennessee. . ~ ~ . Thelr .......
moth- ..~..
"iut the adopted' chlld, who er had deserted them nnd their
slancd nothlna. who made no lalher waa In Jail. The oldest
mistake, has bald a rlce," he chUd had suowrled the other
continued. "lie's hatlo put up two by loragln'g ln the tobacco
most or hb llle with the alate fields alld selling what he found
laylng 'I've got a Secret' with formllk.. . ~
[Is records. These people hnve The chlldren were laken to an
a right to know where they orphnnn c nnd adopted by dlf.
cnme from."
lerent k amlller. They heard
Only llve stnles, lncludln nothlng 01 one anolhcr for 33
Kansas, now have open recor 3 years when Nllngton became
laws nllowlng adoptees over 21 curious about hlsorlglns and be.
to have access to their blrth rec- gnn Investigating. The three
ords. Missouri does not have chudren and the father were resuch
n law.
united at Christmastlme in 1978.
The Adult Adopteta' group "Sincc I became president of
has tried several times to et an the Adult Adoptus two years
open records bUI throug 71 the ago, I've taken part in more
nfissourl ~ouse ~ud~c~ary Corn: than 200 reunions." Mln n
mlttec. . .: . . .i:
"0 en records can be very In;
tlml&tlne to ado~tlvc oarenls,"
~ijlngton said. "It 'can
mean the dcstructlon 01 the excluslve
nature or the parentchlld
relalionshlp. It cnn dilute
the attenllon of thelr chUd, end
many ado tlve erenls nre very
insecure atout 1."
Alllngtnn, as an adoptee who
two years ago tracked down hls
bloloelcnl lamll~. belleves llrmly
intipen recordi.
"Here these people tell you,
sald. "About 96 percent of t f? ore
reunions were successful. 1
would o so far as to sny ecslal.
IC , I ubl 7 ant, most or them."
And the woman whose daughter
returned alter 48 yenrr?
"It twk about three months
(alter the lnitlal phone call)."
Alllngton sald. "But the woman
llnslly told her husbnnd, end the*
mother nnd daughter were re.
unlled."
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