THE BUSINESS OF EDUCATION - International Indian

[ COMMUNITy HyDERABADI ]
were both initially quite concerned.
Azhar is the eldest in his family with a
younger sister and brother. His mother is
a practicing gynecologist and they all live
together. Good sense prevailed and the
wedding was performed without too much
of a brouhaha. With the passage of time,
both the families have realized the value
of what the young couple have brought to
the fold.
So what has the journey been like for
Ayesha? “Between my husband and me,
we have a lot of understanding. He is a
very trusting and accommodating person
and helps me a lot. He has given me a lot
of freedom to be my own person. Initially
there were a whole lot of relatives who used
to pass a lot of snide remarks about me. He
used to shield me from all that. I have made
my own compromises and have earned a lot
of respect from the other members of the
immediate family.
“When we started the fashion institute,
we had some teething trouble. Now my
father-in-law and mother-in-law are both
involved in it and I feel that is why we have
been fairly successful.”
Mukul Puitandi Zaheer (55), is the CEO of
Russell’s Institute of Spoken English which was
started in the year 1986 as a small social service
venture. Today, Russell’s is the longest surviving
institute for spoken English in Hyderabad. In
1988, she turned commercial and her husband
also joined her in the venture.
Mukul is the daughter of a bureaucrat;
she was born in Purulia but was brought up
and educated in Delhi. She was working with
the UN in Iran, when she met Mir Ashfaq
Zaheer, a Hyderabadi who was then working
with Iran Air. The two met, fell in love and
decided to make a life together.
They were married in 1981 in Hyderabad.
They have one son who is called Russell and
the institute is named after him. Mukul, who
is known as Nishat at home, laughs and says,
“National Integration!” She is quite satisfied
with the way her life has shaped up. She insists
that she and her husband have both worked
very hard on their marriage, “because a
marriage like this needs dedicated hard work
otherwise it cannot survive!”
She clarified that while she was in Iran,
she discovered that Islam has a very clear
cut connection with the Almighty, and there
are no middlemen required. So when her
Azhar, Chairman, and Ayesha, CEO, Abids Lakhotia
Institute of Art and Design, Abids Lakhotia Institute of
Hospitality and Management
father-in-law who was a retired judge of the
AP High court, asked her to convert, she was
more than ready for it.
Among the hundreds of professionals
making a mark in the field of architecture and
interiors, a name to reckon with is the house
of Siraj and Renu. This couple has built up a
formidable reputation for being exceptional
in their work. Siraj Hassan and his wife Renu
Verma have been married for 35 years and
they have this wonderful understanding
between them which would be the norm
rather than the exception in a marriage and
work partnership which has spanned more
than three decades!
Renu tells me that all the three sisters
– one older and one younger – married
Muslims in Hyderabad. When her elder
sister married way back in ’65, there were
some rumblings from both families. But
when Renu and her younger sister came
of age and wanted to marry out of the
community, the elders were willing to
accept and allow the younger people to
choose their own partners. “My parents
were always open to our interactions with
people from all other communities. I
cannot recall my parents ever speaking ill
about others in any context. We had friends
in school and college and we had neighbors,
from all other religious groups; there were
hardly any Punjabis at that time.”
Mixed marriages of the other kinds
Hyderabad has all kinds of mixed marriages,
other than the Hindu Muslim ones. There
are some quite “mixed up” ones where
there are more than two or three different
cultural and religious groups, married and
happily living together. My friend Susan
is of Christian Malayali-Parsi parentage
and she is married to Anand Jaywant Rao,
the younger son of Telugu-Coorg parents.
He has some Anglo Indian cousins and his
elder brother, Dilip is married to Nalini
who is of Hindu - Christian parentage. Her
son has recently married a Brazilian. Susan’s
elder daughter has married a Lebanese
Christian.
Are you still with me? Want some more?
One of Susan’s brothers has married a
Bohri Muslim while her sister, Anu has
married a ‘mohna’ sardar (a shaven Sikh)
The Jaywant Raos celebrate Diwali and
Christmas with equal fervor. There are no
narrow parochial thought processes here-
--they are wonderful citizens of the world
and happy being that way! Their open way
of accepting anyone in their families is very
endearing and attractive. Like Susan says,
“there are no barriers of religion, language
or community” She is a great ‘foodie’ and is
thrilled at the kind of variety of foods that
this whole ‘mixed up’ clan gets on its tables
across the world!
Across the road live the Nagraths a
retired couple living in a quiet bungalow.
He is Punjabi while his wife is a Muslim.
Their daughter, Seema is married to a Mallu
doctor. Brig Nagrath(retd) tells me he has
people from all nationalities in his side of
the family – apparently there are Afghanis,
Bolivians, Argentineans and a couple of
others married into his Punjabi clan! They
live in cities across the world; he and his wife
are the only ones who live in Hyderabad.
My husband’s family were émigrés from
Pakistan. The brothers and sisters grew up in
Hyderabad and now the next generation has
taken the meaning of national integration a
whole step further. In the fold one can count
Sindhis, Telugus, Mallus, Bongs, Tantyas,
Kannadigas , Kashmiri Pandits, Gujjus –
what more do you need? Yes, the far eastern
states are not yet represented. Maybe one of
the next generation will keep that in mind!
Is it Hyderabad?
The spirit of coexistence has been nurtured
in Hyderabad for a very long time, post
the collapse of the Mughal Empire and the
cruel impositions of the last few stalwarts
THE INTERNATIONAL INDIAN 45