THE BUSINESS OF EDUCATION - International Indian

[ FROM CANADA ]
Mixed Marriages
“Foreign-born, first generation immigrants are more likely to have spouses of the
same background. While the second generation begins to have mixed marriages,
the third generation is the key to see who will intermarry.”
[ By RUBINA JACOB ]
Even as I sit down to write about
mixed relationships or dating
someone from another community
I do so with mixed feelings. I’m currently
in a relationship with a Caucasian, and
the saying ‘love is enough’, is well it’s not
entirely true. Don’t get me wrong I am
very happy and content, but I must admit
that being in a mixed relationship is not
that simple. Indians are a unique race and
however modern our thoughts maybe or
how well traveled, there are certain traits
that runs like a thread in us all, and that’s
what makes dating someone from a different
race complicated.
It is no more unusual to bump into couples
that are ‘mixed’ the world over especially
in North America and specifically Canada.
The novelty of seeing an Indian with
someone of another race is gone. The
phenomena of mixed couples, is more
common. People of different backgrounds
meet more easily now due to increased
diversity in neighborhoods and workplaces,
mixed raced couples are more accepted
both by their families and by society, and
“mixed raced” is more frequently and easily
claimed as an identity.
Prabhakar an entrepreneur living in San
Diego recently married an Iranian girl in
a multi racial ceremony. His parents had
no objection to the match, the common
statement nowadays being, ‘as long as they
are happy’. “I’m sure in the back of their
minds they would have preferred a girl
from their own community, but didn’t say
anything, at the end of the day they wanted
their 35 year old son to be happy and
married!” laughs Prabhakar.
When I initially met my partner, we were
drawn to each other by our mutual interests
in travel, global issues, and beliefs. I also
found him to be open-minded and nonjudgmental,
unlike many Indian men I
knew. The only difference was the color of
our skins. And it’s not that big a challenge,
but having said that everything is not as
clean cut either. For most Indians, including
myself, there is a need to seek approval and
acceptance, and that constant need can be
a strain because you feel you’re not fully
accepted, not in the same way…. Basically,
being in a multi racial relationship is not for
the weak-hearted.
According to Nagmeh Phelan an Iranian
Rubina Jacob with her partner Christopher Way
(from the UK)
married to a white Canadian, “It’s as if we
are on the verge of leaving the problems of
racism, ethnic and cultural discrimination
behind, as if some perfect post-racial
society is just around the corner and this not
necessarily the case.” But she concedes that
interracial unions are a sign that “race is not
as much of a factor in people’s decisions about
who to have relationships with, in general.”
But once the euphoria of being in love
calms down, that’s when reality strikes for
most mixed couples. “You realize that not
everything is that simple or easy. Starting
from basic things like food, you have to get
used to eating blander cuisine and less of
curries, and I learn to make do with a mish
mash of curry and Yorkshire pie,” laughs
Deepika Jacob, an IT professional living
and working in Canada.
Deepika dated a Caucasian for three
years and it didn’t work out but the
Prabakar Mahalingam at his wedding with Nadia
Eskandari (originally from Iran)
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THE INTERNATIONAL INDIAN